Darkness - A Prose Composition for All You Depressed Prose Writers Out There
It's dark in my worthless world. The dark tentacles of despair bind me like multiple dark nooses as I fade (darkly) in and out of consciousness, longing for a coma just so that my broken heart can rest (or die which would be almost as good). Billowy puffs of ash grey smoke cloud my vision. No, wait, grey is too light a color because it has some white in it, unlike my mood. My six-hundred and thirty ninth girlfriend left me, which was almost as bad as my grey, no: black, hamster dying.
I would write a suicide note, but my grammar ain't good, so people would just laugh at it. Maybe I'll start cutting off vital body parts like... my hair. No, that would take away some of my grimness. I'll give myself the worst wet-willie this sad, dark world has ever witnessed. That will show everyone how depressed I am. Then I'll get a henna tattoo of a formless, black smudge to symbolize pain and suffering, and I'll name it Night-shadow-tear.
Now I'll bathe- nearly drowning in a tub full of fruit punch because it looks like blood. I'll shank myself with a dark, ebony-colored spork, and then change into the blackest of my black cloaks while crying angrily. Finally, I'll become a wretched, cynical mime, to show all of the evil inhabitants of this world how trapped and muted my soul remains. Farewell, I'll see you all in Hardees, I mean Hades.