The Florida rain pounded against Tony's car. A storm had appeared out of blue skies it seemed. "I hope Jamilah got home safely" he spoke of his house like it was hers. In his heart he knew that's exactly what home should be to her. Passer Byers honked their horns at the speeding sports car that whipped past them cutting them off in quick shots.
I 75 had to be one of the busiest highways America had. Road rage boiled in Anthony's blood.
"Dem out a luck now we squeeze 7 and di whole of dem a duck now" Baby Sham's Ghetto Story ring tone went off on his phone.
"Hello?" he stated it in a question form because nobody usually called him on his 305 number.
"Vanessa. How are you? Yeah it's been a minute." He recognized the voice as it spoke more to him. It was Vanessa Nunez his ex girlfriend. She only seemed to call if she wanted something.
"Oh, well I can't hook you up with that. I would walk you in, but I really can't. I'm sorry about that Vanessa, but I won't be able to go tonight." Anthony was right on. Vanessa had called to see if Tony could walk her into the opening of Fusion, a new night club in South Beach next week. Now, to most commoners walking into a club is of no great importance. However, when you are living in the fast lane every scene you make in public counts. Paparazzi and swarms of people were going to be there. Looking good was the door to opportunity in their world and Anthony amongst other attractive guys were key.
It was funny how Anthony and Vanessa could still keep a basic friendship. Their break up was an utter mess, but deep down in his heart he knew that he couldn't find true love in Vanessa. Although picturesque on the outside, he knew that she was just too shallow for him. Jamilah was everything he had ever hoped for. Far more attractive on the outside naturally and drop dead gorgeous on the inside as well. No other woman in his life thus far could compare to her, and Anthony didn't really think he would ever find a girl that would be able to, not in this universe or the next.
"Hey girl! Wow you look so pretty!" Mia Moore, Jamilah's long time best friend stopped her car in Anthony's parking lot like it was her own. Mia's curly jet black hair bounced with so much life as she pulled up her sun glasses to view her friend.
"Girl, why you leaving this mansion to come back to the boondocks at my crib?" she poked fun at Jamilah's behavior, as Jamilah walked into the car quietly.
"Giiiirrrlll, men are just ugh. I don't know where to begin."
"I told you, you were going to start falling for that bum. He is too damn fine. If you don't want him, I'll have him." Mia couldn't control her giggles, until she saw Jamilah's face barely light up. "Uh oh. This is serious. What happened Jam Jam?" Mia clicked her tongue ring showing she was in her listening mode.
"Ugh, girl, it's just that he told me he loved me last night and it felt amazing you know. Wow, it still feels amazing, but you know I have 248 locks on my heart and I don't even know why. I just do, and then this morning he gave me some money to go shopping, that's why I look like this."
"Wait hold up! You took his money?" Mia interjected her friend's speech knowing that act was completely and utterly out of Jamilah's character. The two always preached that they didn't need any man to be with them. Both of them came from independent mothers who gave them sermon upon sermon the independence that women should create for themselves.
"Yeah, I had nothing to wear and I wanted to look kinda cute for him." Jamilah answered innocently.
"Girl, you know once you use their money they going to think that you owe them something. It's like legal prostitution."
"No, Mia it's not like that. Trust me. I'm not stupid." Jamilah began to go on when she saw the nod from Mia's head.
"Well, anyways, I went to buy some clothes and then I got back to his house and I was being nosy I admit, but I saw this picture of him and this girl and it nearly broke my heart. I want to hate on her, but she was so freaking pretty, I really couldn't say anything bad. I just felt like crap how the hell can I compete with that? I don't know how to explain it. I just know it hurt because on the back of the picture, it said "the love we made and the love we have will always be in my heart" so you know they still keep in touch. What is he doing with me? I am not going to let myself get hurt at all. I just need to drop him before I start to love him more." Jamilah felt good letting it all out in front of Mia. She had always been able to talk to her about any and everything under the sun. Mia placed her oversized sunglasses back on as she raked her curly hair back.
"I'm stupid aren't I? I don't know why it bothered me so much." Jamilah's words were soft spoken more to herself than her friend. Mia put her foot off the brake and pressed on the gas.
"Love him more? So you already do then huh?" the question was rhetorical. A silent answer was all that was needed.
Anthony swore he saw Jamilah in the black Nissan that passed him as he turned into his development. He parked his car worried that he had taken too long and left her by herself for too much.
"Jamilah, I'm hommmmee." Anthony tried his best I Love Lucy imitation. When no reply came to him he looked around the house for her. There on the refrigerator he saw the note. Okay, guess she's not coming with me tonight. Part of him felt empty as he sulked into his bedroom. He went to go collect the money she had left in change to him. There he saw the picture of Vanessa. I should take a picture with Jamilah and put it up somewhere. I don't even know why I have this junk. He took up the picture and stared at it hard remembering the first night he met Vanessa.
Anthony grabbed onto the sexy Latina's waist as the club got heavy thumping with music. The bass was uncontrollable and most of the crowd was drunk or high. She grinded on him close and tight making him feel every movement she made. He had been introduced to the girl before, but really couldn't remember her name. It was apparent she wasn't the best dancer, but the girl could sway her hips. At least that much she did have down. Like most guys at the club Anthony was just there for a piece of action. Nothing too serious especially not with the blonde beauty he was dancing with. He could tell she just knew who he was and that was enough for her to take off her panties.
"Let's get out of here and have some more fun tonight." She whispered in his ear biting the lobe of it. Anthony grinned as he whispered back to her lets go as the neon lights blinked in their faces.
A flirtatious smile grew on the girl's face as Anthony pulled her into the back seat of his car. He was surprised to see her thong fling out of her hands as she adjusted herself for the ride she was more than willing to take him on. Her small hands grabbed onto his pants zipper as she began to reach for the long and hardening member of Tony's body.
"You're going to like this." She said then began to lick her lips.
Tony didn't want to remember the rest. He felt so dirty when he thought about doing things with her. That was his lifestyle though, he was a player, a pimp, a smooth talker. He was the guy your mother warned you about as a kid. There were so many girls he had messed with and now all of a sudden here comes the most innocent one he's ever seen and he wants to mess with her. Anthony couldn't lie to himself about it. Jamilah's purity and virtue made him thirst for her. In a sexual aspect, yeah he did want to be her first, but in a mental and emotional facet of her life he wanted to be her first as well. He wanted to be her first and only love. All though he had been around the block, in turn, Jamilah would be his first as well. He had never actually been in love before.
He stood alone in his room and looked at his phone, contemplating to call her or not. He had nothing to do now that he was alone. He decided to text her instead.
"Hey Jamilah, I miss you. Why did you leave in such a rush? Were you imitating me this morning? I'm sorry about that anyways, I miss you and I want to see you tonight if possible. " The text was simple and sweet. He began to swarm his thoughts with visions of her hoping that she would be in his dreams.
When Anthony woke up it was 1 in the morning. He checked his phone to see if he had gotten any messages. Nothing at all. Jamilah didn't even write him back. He decided to call just to make sure she was safe. The phone rang for an eternity it seemed like then went to her voicemail. Worry began to pulsate through his veins. She had to be sleeping; it was after all 1 in the morning. Jamilah always has her phone on loud though, she would've woken up for that. He decided to call again. The second became the 4th and the 4th became the 7th time none of which she answered. Tony couldn't help but worry at this point. What the hell happened? Or what the hell was she doing? He searched for his car keys and began to drive west to Jamilah's house.
Jamilah saw the 7 missed calls on her phone and tried to delete them all. Mia and her had a long talk about how it may be better if she just stops talking to him. This way she couldn't get hurt, and well, she couldn't take a chance and be happy either. She just accepted the deal as a lose/lose situation, considering her decision to be the lesser of two evils. Nonetheless, something was yearning her to let him have her heart just this one guy, but Jamilah had grown so cold to the ways of love that she didn't even want to tempt herself with a fairytale. Outside Jamilah could hear a car parking in her driveway, she wondered who it could be. Perhaps her mother's boyfriend or her sister was coming back home after curfew hours. Her phone vibrated showing her a text message from Anthony.
"Look out your window." Her heart beat quickly as she raced to her window.
"Anthony what are you doing out there?" she spoke in a low yell.
"Jamilah why aren't you picking up your phone? Come down here." He didn't ask. It was more than anything a command. Jamilah couldn't resist the stern orders he was giving her. Soon enough she opened her house door almost silently and came next to him with house pajamas on and a big t shirt.
"You know I called you 8 times Jamilah why are you doing this? I thought something happened to you. If you don't want to talk it's fine, but don't make me have to call 8 times and be worried about you. You never did something like this before. What's the matter?" He cupped her face lovingly appreciating her very breath now.
"I'm sorry. I just didn't feel like talking." The answer she gave was brusque. For the past 3 months Anthony and Jamilah would talk to each other at all hours of the day, rarely missing each other's calls. It was more than odd that Jamilah just would sporadically choose to not pick up his phone call.
"Jamilah what's going on with you now?" his words were dripping with concern. He took a step closer to her. She couldn't lie to him, even though she wanted to, badly.
"Who is she?" the question fell on flat ears.
"Who is what?" he replied in bewilderment.
"You know who I'm talking about…That blonde, Tony. I was putting the money back in your drawers and I saw that blonde girl and you in a picture." She asserted staring him deep into his eyes.
"Jamilah you were snooping through my stuff." He pressed back.
"No! You don't listen, I said I was putting the money back in your drawers and I saw the picture there!" she lied.
"Jamilah the money was on top of the dresser." He felt hurt and enraged that she would go through his stuff.
"Whatever, Tony. Stop trying to change the subject! Who is she?" Tony let go of her face and stared at her harshly.
"That's my fucking ex. Why the hell were you going through my fucking drawers Jamilah? I didn't give you permission to go through my shit!" He could no longer hold in his anger. Distrust was something he could not find amiability with.
"First of all, I don't know who you're cursing at and second of all, I'm sure it was your ex. You told me you broke up with her 9 months ago. That picture was dated a month ago! Tony you're getting caught in your lies." She roared back at him.
"You know what, Fuck this shit. I don't owe you any excuses. I told you who she was and yet you still don't wanna believe me. I don't know who gave you the right to go through my stuff. You don't pay my bills."
"Oh, I'm sorry maybe I should've asked your daddy. He is the one who does pay them right?" His irritability caught on to Jamilah as she snapped back
"Jamilah, oh please you know I got a job outside of my dad's business that pays my fucking bills. I'm no nepotistic bum. Damn, Jamilah, I thought you could trust me."
"Well apparently, it's a good thing I didn't start to." She began on her rampage. "Is that why you didn't introduce me to your parents? I'm not passed the paper bag mark like her? My hair is too nappy, my lips are too big? I'm not white enough looking?" the words stabbed him. His heart began to tear as the cruel assumptions pierced him. He knew he would never be ashamed to show her off to his family and friends, it was just that the time wasn't at hand. Moreover, Jamilah was nothing less than perfect with her tight curly hair and full lips. The ethnic attributes of her was what drew him to her. He grabbed her shoulder.
"Jamilah, you're sounding crazy! You know that's not true. I just wanted to at the right time." He tried to explain to her softly. Jamilah pushed his tight grip off of her.
"Get off of me, Anthony. I don't want to see you anymore." The neighbors light quickly went on when she screamed this. Tony's eyes enraged as he grabbed hold of her other shoulder. "Get in the car Jamilah. Now." He brought her with him near the car. Jamilah fought him off a little, but gradually just walked herself into the car in defeat. It was apparent he wasn't going to force her into the car, he just didn't want to make a scene out in public like it was developing into.
She began to sob as she sat down in his car. For a couple of minutes all you could hear was the sniffling of Jamilah and the silent anger in the convertible until Anthony began to speak.
"Jamilah, I love you. It hurts me you don't trust me baby." He touched her face gently "I'm sorry I yelled at you" she rested her head on his shoulder and cried some more as he apologized.
"Baby stop it please." He couldn't believe he did this to her. He always knew he had a temper problem, but he never knew he would let it get out of control like this.
"Baby, why are you crying? Because I cursed at you? I'm sorry it won't ever happen again." he kissed her forehead knowing deep in his heart, he would never speak to her like that again.
"No, I don't even care about that. It's just seeing you with this other girl hurt." She confessed. A small laugh wanted to escape his mouth. If only Jamilah knew how much more attractive, loving, and fun to be around she was than this girl could ever be in 10 lifetimes.
"Jamilah, baby, you have my word I don't talk to her like that. That girl recently sent that picture to me that's why the date was there. That was taken almost a year ago. I just threw that picture somewhere I meant to throw it away. I'm not going to lie. Me and her are still somewhat friends, but she ain't nothing compared to you. Ask Tyrell, everyone knows that girl is only cute because she puts a pound of makeup on. You, you're beautiful inside and out just naturally and I always wanted someone like you." He kissed her cheek.
"With your skin" he kissed her hand. "Your eyes." He kissed her eyes. "Your nose." His lips landed on her nose. "And your smile." He began to bring his lips onto hers. When they met it was like fireworks went off inside of him. His tongue began to mingle with hers as he brought her face closer to his.
"I love you." He said softly. Jamilah now knew in this moment his words were real. Something about how he said it, the light of the moon over the car, the low love song playing on the radio, just something about the moment made it feel right. The car harboring the two star crossed lovers became increasingly tranquil. Once, Tony noticed Jamilah had fallen asleep on his shoulder he put the key in the ignition and began to drive off back to his place. He knew he was going to have to take her back to her house, but for the next couple of hours while nobody knew any better she was going to be here with him. She looks like an angel. Tony thought admiringly. When he arrived at his condominium he unbuckled her seat belt opened her door and carried her to his bedroom. The pair of coffee brown eyes that were fast asleep slowly but surely opened to see a change of scenario. She didn't say anything just stared at where he was taking her. Tony looked down at her and kissed her forehead again.
"I'm going to take you back home in a little ok. I just want you here for now." He explained to her. Jamilah held onto him tighter. He laid her down in bed then crawled in the bed next to her. Blanketing her with his body his legs intertwined with hers. For the next couple of hours nothing was said just the still of the night. When it became 4 in the morning Anthony woke up and began to realize it was about that time his carriage would turn into a pumpkin. It's not like he needed to really do anything with her. He just needed to be with her. He picked up Jamilah again her body looked almost lifeless and ethereal in a sense. He picked her up again and put her in the convertible. No cars were on the rode so the ride was short lived.
"Jamilah, wake up. You're home." He whispered to her. Her brown eyes fluttered open as she gradually got up to get out of the car. Finally, she was home.
"Go to sleep and I want to see you tomorrow after work." He told her. He never really asked to see her, he always seemed to state it, like it had to happen.
"Don't you mean… "Jamilah do you want to see me after work?"" she tried to correct him.
"No, I meant what I said. I'm going to see you ok." At first a stern look crossed his face which was then insured by a smile. They both knew Anthony had a bit of a commanding side to him. Sometimes it made Jamilah feel a bit uncomfortable that he might be a bit too authoritative for her liking, however he never went to far. He was just an aggressive man and would never cross the line into abusive or domineering. Jamilah rolled her eyes playfully at him.
"Alright see you tomorrow." She waved goodbye and started into her house with butterflies running rapid in her stomach.