There's this constant pull on my heart for her. When she's gone all I can do is think about her and how I want to see her. When she's with me all I can think about is how I want to hold her. When I hold her all I can think about is how I never want to let go.
One of the best but most scariest things is how she turns to me when her world collapses. It's amazing that she sees something in me that says I can save her. Sometimes it's hard for me to believe that she wants, out of the people in the world, me to hold her and promise everything to be alright. ME! Not Mr. Popular or Mr. Hottie-with-a-Body, she wants ME!!
When I look at her, I can hardly believe it. Out of all the people in the world, out of everyone else out there who would be so much better in loving her, she wants me! It's so weird to say, so weird to hear, but I trust her. She sees something in me and it's something I can't see but it's enough for her. There is just this unexplainable feeling of knowing that she trusts me with the most valuable thing she has . . . her heart.
Yet at the same time it scares the fuck out of me, you know?
What if I'm not good enough? What if I can't help her? What if I can't mend her broken heart? What if I cause more damage then I can fix!?!
Thoughts like that are what keep me up at night. I might not always know how to make things better for her but I do know that I will give it everyting I've got to do so, and that's more than most guys can say.
So hopefully at the end of the day she'll see I did what I could do and that will be enough for her to love me.