OnStar and a Zombie Invasion
If you don't know what OnStar is, it's simply an in-vehicle safety and security system created to help protect you and your family on the road. OnStar's innovative three-button system offers:
24-hour access to expertly trained, caring Advisors
A connection to emergency assistance
Access to OnStar Hands-Free Calling
"Hello, how can I help you?" An On Star worker said in a calm voice as he answered the phone.
"I need the police!" The woman responded in a panicking voice.
"Okay, dialing..." He said as he quickly dialed 911.
"Hurry they're trying to break in my car!!" She cried out in fear.
"I'm Sorry Lady I can't get the police on the line... Should I keep trying?" He said in questioning voice.
"What do you MEAN you CAN'T get the Police on the Line!?!! I paid 3,000 Dollars Extra Just to get a car with OnStar!!! And NOW you're telling me you CAN'T get a hold of the Police!!" She shouted out madly at him.
"The lines are busy, what's your emergency?" He asked trying to keep the situation calm.
"There are ZOMBIES trying to break into my CAR!!" She shouted angrily at him.
"Lady have you been doing any illegal substances???" He asked ignoring her yelling.
"For how much I paid for this OnStar!! You better start walking to the police station RIGHT NOW!! OR I'M going to drive MY car over to YOUR station, And YOU"RE going to be the ONE in a state of EMERGENCY!!!" She hollered at him getting even more pissed off.
"Still no answer... Do you want me to call the Asylum instead??" He responded in a sarcastic voice, doubting everything she yelled at him.
"I can't believe I paid for ONSTAR, you GUYS can't even CONTACT the POLICE!!... Before you could even get the police on the line, I'LL be at the STATION with a SHOTGUN in my HANDS yelling," She paused and then said in a sarcastic angered voice.
"Try calling the POLICE!! Hahaha ...See if YOU can get a hold of them NOW!!!" She shouted loudly at him laughing crazily. At hearing this he started to get worried and didn't know what to even say.
"HAHAHA!! Now what are YOU going to DO!?! I'm running the BITCHES over with my CAR!!" She screamed out loudly with a crazed voice. The man starts to panic and dials up the asylum on the other line.
"What's going to stop ME from finding you NOW?!? HUH!?!" She screamed out in a mad and crazed voice. The man is unable to get a hold of the loony bin and hears a loud crashing sound over the phone.
"Haha!! 10 POINTS for hitting the OLD BUM!!" She shouted laughing out loudly and crazily.
"What!! You hit a bum!?!" He shouted back in a scared and questioning voice.
"It was only a zombie... no need to worry Sir." She responded in a calm and crazed voice as she smiled.
"Arrrreeee... you Ooookkk Ladyyy?" He asked in a scared and shaky voice. She starts psychotically humming not responding to his question.
'OH MY GOD!! She is after ME!!' He screams out in his head as he listens to her hum crazily with a terrified look on his face.
"Hey, how much would I get if I hit the man in the blue with a gun??" She calmly asks as she starts driving up on the sidewalk going 70 miles per hour watching as the man starting to run at the sight of this.
"Oh SHIT she GOIING TO HIT the Police!! There's no helping us NOW!!" His thoughts screamed in his mind as he was too terrified to speak as he hears another loud crashing sound.
"Wee!! HEHEHE, Did you see THAT!!! He just flew over the hood of my car!!!! 200 Points for MEE!!! YAA!!" She screamed out laughing like a maniac as he pulls the phone away from his ear, and looks at the phone with a scared face and starts whining in fear.
"OoO he had S.T.A.R.S written across his name badge, I bet he is really seeing stars now." She said giggling as she paused and then said quickly.
"OH LOOKY!!! I found IT!!!" She shouted out happily hanging up the phone up fast.
"OH NO!!! OH MY GOD… HELP ME!!! He screamed out as he looked out the window of the building watching as the woman as getting out of the car and skipping to the back of the car opening the trunk. He drops the phone staring out the window and panics, looking for an emergency exit.
"Just show you're FACE in broad day light, I'm telling you on how I feel, going to hurt you badly, going to SHOOT to KILL!!! Come on, Come on, Get out HERE!! Alright? I'm giving you TILL the count of THREE!! to show YOURSELF!! Or I'm COMING IN!!" She sang out loudly like Michael Jackson digging though her trunk with a crazed smile as she pulls out a shotgun.
"I don't know what is going to kill me first, her terrible singing, or that shotgun she calls 'The Happy Maker'?" He said to himself as he covered his ears.
"Shh... Be vewy vewy quiet I'm hunting wabbits." She said thinking she is Elmer Fudd as she turns her head sharply towards the OnStar station with a psychotic grin and starts creeping towards the station slowly with "The Happy Maker" in her hands.
"OH My God Why?!? I only cheated on my taxes ONCE.... or was it twice? And I went to church once BEFORE, Remember??? Why me !! WHY ME?!?" He cried out in a fearful and confused voice, hearing a loud noise of glass breaking.
"Here's JOHNNY!!!" She shouted as she stuck her head through the hole in the glass door as the man who is sitting on the second floor of the building in the corner of the room grabs a phone and dials up his mother who is high.
"Mommy…" He wines into the phone with a scared and terrified voice.
"What do you want me!!!?" His mom screams out even more scared.
"Mom!" He says back trying to get her to answer.
"NOO!! … YOU'RE not going to TAKE ME ALIVE!!" She cried out in fear.
"MOM!!" He shouted out loudly.
"Oh... Hi son." His mom said as she smiled happily realizing she was in no danger
"I Need Your HELP!!" He cried out in a scared and quiet voice.
"You want me to put Lasey down??" His mom asks with a confused voice.
"Noo Mom Listen! This woman has a shotgun!! And she is trying to KILL ME!!!" He said a little louder trying to make him mom understand.
"Ohh... You want me to put Lasey down with the shotgun the woman has??" She responded with an understanding as she smiled.
"1… 2… I'm AFTER YOU!!!" The woman screamed who was now inside the building walking towards the staircase.
"You Hear that MOM!!" The man shouted
"Oh My God!!" His mom responded in surprised and shocked voice
"Yeah See!! She Is Coming AFTER ME!!" He said getting all happy finally thinking she knew what was going on.
"The Dog TALKS!!!!" His mom shouted out in a surprised and serious voice.
"Noo!! The Dog Is Not Talking Mom!!" He cried out in disappointment as he really started believing there was a dog.
"3… 4… I'm going to shoot YOU for SHOR!" The woman sang out loudly in a crazed voice as she was at the foot of the stairs.
"Oh NOO!! THERE going to kill MEE!!" His mom cried out in fear as she forgot what was going on.
"NO…! MOM She Not trying to Kill YOU!!" He cried out in the phone loudly.
"Oh Good, Is she coming over for a Whisky??" She replied sounding all happy and relived.
"What the hell is going on?!?!" The woman said confusedly as she stops at the top of the stairs laughing.
"You are at 5, 6!!" He blurted out without thinking.
"Oh Yeah!!" She says, coughs and resumes
"5… 6… I see YOU FELIX!!!" She sang out loudly walking into the room of the second floor.
"What the fuck!! My name isn't Felix……" He thought and then said in a confused voice
"OH MY GOD!! IT ISN'T!?!?!" His mom screams out in a confused and panicking voice.
"7… 8… Your Death AWAITS!!" She sings out loudly while walking slowly towards "Felix" thinking she is Freddy.
"Oh My GOD!!! Barney IS ON!!! YAAA!!! BARNEY BARNEY!!!!!" She screams out all of the sudden, gets super happy, drops the phone and runs to the T.V. The phone making a thud noise as it hits the floor.
"MOM?!?!?!" He cries out in a scared and panicked voice hearing no reply.
"HELP!! HELP!! There Is A Crazy Lady AFTER ME!!!!" He screams out in fear as he runs out the emergency exit.
"OH MY GOD!! WHERE!?!?!" She cries out watching him run away and looks around the room in a panic. Then she hears the phone start to ring and walks over to it and answers it.
"OnStar How may I help you??" She says as answers the phone