Based off the song Return by, OK Go. The story is in italics between the song lyrics. This song makes me want to cry, while inspiring me to write. Who knows? Maybe a story could come from it one day...


Return

Now it's years since your body went flat

I cried so hard at the funeral. All the people you thought you never knew, coming to say goodbye one last time...

And even memories of that

I remember going and talking to the counselor from that hotline. Getting it all off my chest. It was good; healing.

Are all thick and dull, all gravel and glass.

The grief was so sharp for so long. I thought it would never go away. It was like a constant battle with myself just to get up in the morning. Like little shards of glass flying into the shrapnel of my heart. But time made the hurt dull. Even time could not make them any less thick and meaningful, though...

But who needs them now,

I can still see your eyes... and the fear in them. It's heartbreaking. And the talks I've had with the counselor... he says I shouldn't bury the memories; that it will just hurt me more later on.

Displaced they're easily more safe.

But he didn't know you. So I lost your memories. I buried them so deep that I couldn't feel the loss any more.

The worst of it now:

Sometimes I wonder... what would it have been like if that day had never happened. The counselor says I shouldn't think like that, because it will make me miss you more, but I don't think that's possible.

I can't remember your face.

So for now, I settle for looking at photographs to remind me of you. Because when I buried the memories, I buried you. And I can't remember your face, except for the photographs...

Return.

You left. You weren't supposed to leave. Why?

For awhile, with the vertigo cured,

You loved to be out. The sudden onset of the sickness kept you in bed for weeks and weeks. The first thing you did when they let you out was go watch the sunset. Now I can't look at them because the thought of you makes me cry.

We were alive, we were pure.

We were so pure... you like an angel and I your chosen charge. I felt so alive when we were together. You could always make it all go away so that the only thing that mattered was you here with me.

The void took the shape of all that you were,

When the depression took hold... it was as if the void had taken the shape of all that you were. Like a shadow of yourself, you did everything, but it never meant anything...

But years take their toll,

And time passed, but you still weren't getting better. In fact, you seemed to be getting worse. As much as it hurt me, it was hurting you ten times worse. And we knew it.

And things get bent into shape.

The doctors tried everything to get you bent into shape, but nothing was working. And so more time passed...

Antiseptic and tired,

I would sit in the waiting room in hospital for hours. I would stay up all night waiting for their newest report. But it was never enough...

I can't remember your face.

And because I buried it all, I can't remember the look on your face when they told you that you would be fine. I imagine it was a happy expression, but I know that wasn't the case. It was just an expression of tired of facing life. You were done, whether they knew it or not. I know. I've always known...

Return.

It doesn't help me sleep at night, but I can't stop asking why. I thought we were close; we were inseparable! And then you were gone.

You were supposed to grow old.

Why? You were going to be there for me. And you had such wonderful plans for life. To throw it away? Why?

Reckless, unfrightened, and old,

What ever happened to you? You were always reckless and nothing could scare you. You'd always been like that... and I imagine you would have stayed that way, too.

You were supposed to grow old.

You weren't supposed to go and do that! You weren't supposed to leave that night and never come back. You weren't supposed to be around the old quarry...

Return.

I ask myself time and time again. Why? We were supposed to go together! I wouldn't have let you go by yourself. And you knew that, so you left during the night and left me to live after you had gone. Why?

You were supposed to return.

I would have jumped with you, holding your hand. But you knew that... and your twisted justice only included you, even though I had suffered the same and then tenfold when they found your body. What ever happened to the trust?

As I cry now, reliving the memories I kept buried for years, I can only think of one thing. You. And all that happened with you. And all I can manage is one thought.

You were supposed to return.