Fearful because they can't remember,

I fear because I can't forget.

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There are blissful days of no recall

Glossed over- Whitewash on the walls

(Of an old house, a familiar shrine)

That cracks, and you burst in

"Oh, darling, did you miss-"

Lest I forget the way your arms went when you hugged

"-me?"

Fear not, dear ghost

Your smile/face/cold blue skin

Is/are branded on my eyes

Your touch will ever haunt my nightmares

(A decaying kiss or dying wish from my own decrepit angel)

In them, you are built anew

-I am the one beneath a gravestone-

A lightening bolt in shattered blue

I've tried to trade my life for yours

In a pathetic gesture of "self-less-ness"

But found

(When I looked in the mirror and saw you instead)

That it happened anyway

Without my consent or notice

Alas, my soul is not my own

But locked safely in the grasp

Of slender fingers clenched in icy defiance

The same that twine around my throat on lonely nights

When the shadows on the wall behind my shoulder

Look like your spread-eagled remains

Why can I not forget?

Why do your eyes watch me from the picture on my wall

With a malice I don't deserve (much)?

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I had hated the sight of your blood staining my sheets and wrists until-

I realised it was my own