this is the real good-bye

those hugs were fake,
the kisses were filled with nothingness
there was no meaning to my, 'I'll miss you too'

but this has meaning.

this is me being real,
and letting you know what you mean to me.
this is me
making sure you know that I do miss you
and I do care.

I'm thanking you for all you gave to me
hoping you understand that we all mess up
and I'm sorry for all the times I did.

I tried to throw my thoughts of you away,
but it didn't work.

I wish I'd hugged you for real.
I wish there had been a kiss.
I wish I really missed you when I said I did.

because now, I do.
and I can't change the past.