Short little play inspired by the movie Over the Hedge. Maybe you have to be a little perverted to get this one.

Have You Seen my Nuts?

(Underneath a large tree. two squirrels, Conker and Elliot, are standing underneath it. Elliot sniffs the air.)

Elliot: Have you seen my nuts?

Conker: Yeah, it's right there.

Elliot: No, I meant my nuts. I had a lot of nuts, but they all disappeared.

Conker: What, gender change?

Elliot: No. Not gender change. I just can't find my nuts.

Conker: Say, it's almost winter.

Elliot: Yeah...hold on. You promised me some nuts. How come you haven't kept your promise?

Conker: Oh. that. girlfriend ate my nuts. She was like a beast, you know, devouring it greedily. It hurts me just to think about it.

Elliot: Oh...

(Mark the Skunk arrives)

Mark: Hey, guys. It looks like you have a shortage. Wanna eat my nuts?

Elliot: No. Too stinky. It would make my mouth smell bad.

Conker: I just realized that I'm perverted. (sighs)

Mark: I have tons of nuts! I like to caress them.

Elliot: I remembered! I left my nuts in a bag!! (leaves)

Conker: Jeez, I need to stop watching those internet movies-

Mark: You wanna see my nuts?

Conker: No. I do not want to see your nuts.

Mark: Why?

Conker: Personal reason.

Mark: Oh. OK. I guess I'll just leave you to starve then...

(Elliot runs back, excited)

Elliot: I found my nuts! I FOUND MY NUTS!!! I FOUND MY-


Elliot: Oh. Sorry.

Mark: Yeah, see you after winter! (coughs)


Yes, I am sooooooo sick. X(