A/N – This chapter has a lot of explicit language. Please excuse errors.
You have 6 voicemail messages:
Message 1: So…. I'm guessing that you're still a little pissed at me. I thought I would give you some time, but baby you don't know how crazy it is right now. We are in playoff mode and to be honest the guys have been riding me about my time spent with you and where my head is at. I want you to know that my head is here with the team but my heart is with you... Please forgive me
Message 2: C'mon Mika pick up I really don't want to have to play these games with you, I thought we got passed this awhile ago. . I didn't have that great of a practice today. You do want me to concentrate right? I said I was sorry, No I really am sorry. I don't want to argue about this call me please.
Message 3: You know what I'm not sure what I'm apologizing for? I'm trying to win the damn Stanley Cup here. I thought that maybe you understood what I did for a living. Maybe I jumped in too soon and you're not ready, Ok, sorry I'm a little bit agitated. I'm really missing you and I want you to call me please.
Message 3: Ok Mika, what the fuck was that cryptic text message? Stop calling you…..,Alright, if that is what you want then fuck it. I'm done.
Message 4: Hi Mika, its Laraine. I love, love my house I was hoping we can meet for lunch tomorrow. I miss you sweetie, call me when you have time to meet? Oh and you I called and checked your schedule you are completely open so you can't say no.
Messages deleted
This was fucking crazy now he has his mother calling me? Fuck this bullshit. I can't be with another athlete that will place me in the backseat.
It starts off with the team thinking that we spend too much time together and then ends with Tim fucking another chick because I didn't have time for him or stopped traveling to the games to see him. Fuck It I can't deal with that shit anymore. Thank goodness I have a bunch of clients that I owe designs too. Maybe just maybe work will be my Calgon.
I decided to call Laraine back and thank goodness I got her voicemail I wasn't in the mood for chit-chat but I knew I had to meet with her and tell my side. I left her a message about meeting up tomorrow at the Il Fornaio for lunch. A nice crowded Italian spot, the best part about that restaurant no time for chit-chatting they kick your ass out to serve the next customer especially during the lunch rush.
Turning on the TV I saw that the ESPN analysts were giving a breakdown of the Shocks game that happened earlier. Of course I listened to it on the low in my office with Anthony coming in and giving me looks when I turned the radio off when he came in to discuss projects he just gave me the You ain't slick look.
Hearing Tim's name mentioned on TV broke me from my thoughts. He was stepping up to the podium for post game questions. Damn he looked so good. That sweaty, beautiful just got out of the shower sexy fuckable hot look. He looked up into the cameras and at the sea of reporters and pointed at the first row of reporters.
"Tim you seem to be really angry as of late. The check you put on Stazlanski was almost career ending. Where is all this frustration coming from?" One of the reporters pointedly asked him.
The look Tim gave him should have killed him on the spot "What the hell type of question is that? I'm playing a game and in this game people get hit. You would know if you played, next question." He stated rolling his eyes.
"Yeah, but lately you're game hasn't been the same." The same reporter threw out at him he must not have seen the ass kicking look Tim was shooting him "Your stick handling has been off and when you were skating through the neutral lane tonight, you turned the puck over on a careless pass to Oazichevck. Is your game off?"
"Is my game off?" Tim repeated the question almost like to himself. He ran his fingers through his beard and just stared at the reporter. "We won so I highly doubt my game is off, again next damn question." He said pointing at another reporter.
"Yeah you might have won tonight, but I think you can thank your teammates for that." The same reporter said aloud.
"Fuck You." Tim had said pulling off his microphone and it looked like he was going for the reporter. Coach Thompson came running out from back grabbing Tim while all sorts of pandemonium erupted and all you could here was Coach yelling out that the interview was over.
The camera then panned towards the reporter and did a quick cut to commercial.
I picked up my phone on the first ring "Did you see that?" Amy's voice came across the line once I said hello.
"Yes I don't know what to say." I said looking to see if they would show Tim again but the analysts seemed to focus on his breakdown "They won I'm not sure why he would take it out on that poor sports reporter."
"Girl are you stuck on stupid? You know exactly why Tim took that shit out on them."
"What are you talking about? I had nothing to do with his blow up."
"Mika, STOP!" She yelled into the phone "CALL HIM. Obviously, Tim is all types of jacked up because of the shit you and him are going through and it's messing with his game. And I'm going to tell you not answering his calls haven't helped in this situation."
"Why are you not on my side?" I said yelling into the phone. "I've made up my mind to stop dating guys involved with sports. I need you to be my friend through this." I started getting my clothes ready for my lunch with Laraine.
"Ya know sweetie, I'm always on your side but I think this time around you are messing up the best thing you ever had due to the bullshit Jo-bastard put you through. I keep repeating the same mantra TIM is not J.O.E.Y. he cares for you. Tim should not pay for Joey's weakness for other women. He hasn't even given you the slightest inclination that he was involved or interested in other women, actually Tim seemed like marriage material." She said with a sigh.
"It would be easier if this was about another woman." I said laying out my outfit combining my black Nanette Lepore A-line skirt my favorite Marc Jacobs cream shirt. Ignoring her marriage material remark. "It's about me being placed before his career and then probably replaced in his life by someone else."
I heard Amy give an annoying sigh "I can't do this again Amy I can't start feeling like I'm second best to the man and his sport again it only makes for a difficult relationship."
"Jeezus MIKA get over it." She said coming across more than irritated. "This is the dude's job. He is captain of a major league hockey team they are playing in the playoffs for the Stanley Cup. I'm going to repeat it again TIM is not J.O.E.Y, It's not like he is cheating on you like asshole did, stop comparing the two. I don't think you're thinking this through enough."
"I'm not comparing them I'm telling you that Joey has me so messed up the trust thing is not going to go away just like that." I said snapping my fingers. "He had a choice to make and he took the easy way out. He is the one that chose to let me feel like I was second in this relationship."
"You know what Mik's I'm gonna call it a night. You are starting to sound like you're a victim here." Her voice came through strained on the phone and she sounded kind of pissed. "I can't talk to you while you have your claws out. I think Tim earned your trust and you are so fucked up with un-requited feelings for Joey that you don't want to move on."
I tried to interrupt her but she kept talking over me
"No you need to hear this, you took the easy way out with Tim and now you are going to lose a good man because of it. Go ahead keep harping on the trust issues and the Joey factor, but remember those things won't keep you warm at night. Talk to you tomorrow." And then she hung up.
FUCK!! I yelled throwing my phone across the room. What the fuck…
I knew in my heart that what Amy said was right but I couldn't let go. I wanted to call Tim so bad. He looked like he needed to hear my voice, just like I needed to hear his, but my head told me to take a shower and go to bed, so I did.