Summary: Based on that Jumanji thing. That game? Well, what if you were sucked into not Jumanji, but Candy Land…let the craziness ensue…(I swear to God this actually has a plot…really..!)


If I Were In Candy Land…

By: bookface31

Never Challenge a Seven-Year Old to Candy Land

"I win!" the young boy shouted, proclaiming his victory with a dramatic pose. His older brother stood behind him and blew on the younger one's hair, making it look like he was in the wind…or like someone was blowing on his hair.

The girl who sat on the rug Indian style rolled her eyes and leaned on the ground. "Big deal. You got lucky this time," she murmured, glaring slightly.

The older boy moved up from behind his younger brother and smirked at his older sister, who now had to spend the entire night babysitting her younger brothers. She had gotten locked out of the house the other day, and in a panic, she broke into her house by tearing apart the screen windows then unhinging the glass to get inside. When her parents asked her what happened, she looked at her cat on the floor and said:

"Mmm…the Hamburglar?"

So now, as the sixteen-year old girl sat playing a game of Candy Land with her younger brothers, she regretted not thinking of a better excuse. She should have gone with the, "We were attacked by Zoro," explanation.

The two boys looked at her older sister, who was at the moment placing the different game cards in certain positions.

"What are you doing, Jackie?" the older boy asked.

His sister turned to him with a glare. "The only mature thing one my age can do with Candy Land game cards."

"You're making them fight with each other," the younger boy pointed out.



In another place, somewhere that was very near, and yet very far away, a young man opened his eyes, sitting up in his bed. He yawned slowly, stretching his arms as his mouth opened widely.

The sun seeped through the window, falling upon a long sword that sat in the corner of the room. The young man smiled and walked up, grabbing the sword before walking outside.

The sun was slowly being hidden by an unknown, black object. Today was the day…


"Fucking macaroni and cheese!" Jackie shouted from the kitchen as her two younger brothers sat in the living room and watched TV. She glared as she looked past the stove and into said room. "What the hell are you two doing?! Get the hell in here and help me cook, God dammit!" Jackie yelled in a rage as she angrily threw her flowered apron to the floor.

The older brother turned to face his sister. "But we're watching--"

"I don't wanna hear it, Matt!" Jackie hollered. She stomped over to where her brothers sat and put her hands on her hips. "I don't care if you're watching--Oh! Is that 15?"

The younger boy raised an eyebrow. "Who?"

"15! The new rapper that I can't stand."

"…You mean 50?" the youngest boy asked.

"What the fuck does it matter?"

"It matters a lot," the youngest brother of seven explained. "There's a difference between the two numbers…by like thirty-five other numbers."

"Yeah, Jack," the older brother of eleven said. "Even Ryan knows 50's name, and he listens to Disney Channel Stars music."

"I do not!"

"Whatever!" Jackie threw her arms in the air. "The point is, this man is not fit to be on our television! He's big and mean and--"

"He's been shot nine times," Matt interrupted.

"Well, so was Luvina Cagle! And she's not a famous rapper because of it!" Jackie shouted.

"Who's Luvina Cagle?" Ryan questioned.

Jackie smirked. "Exactly," she replied.

"Stop confusing us! We're trying to get krunk," Matt told his sister.

"You're what?!"

"Get krunk?" Ryan suggested, offering a hand.

Jackie walked in front of the TV and glared. "And do you have any idea what that means?" she asked them.

The two boys looked to one another, then back to her. "No…?" they said in unison.

Jackie sighed.

"Isn't it some kind of dance?" Matt, the older boy, asked.

"No! Fuck, no! It's--" Jackie was interrupted when a loud sound was emitted from the kitchen. It sounded like either something was dying, or something was getting ready to die. Either way, it involved death and maybe the macaroni that Jackie was-- "THE MACARONI!" Jackie shouted, her mouth agape and hands thrown in the air.

As the teenager ran into the kitchen to attempt to save the house from a cheesy doom, the two boys looked to one another in confusion. "The macaroni?" they both asked.

"Is that some kind of slang?" Ryan raised an eyebrow.

"Maybe it's a political term," Matt offered.

"Get your asses in here, and help me!" Jackie shouted from the kitchen, slipping all over the floor which was covered in overflowing macaroni and cheese.

The two boys quickly scrambled up off of the couch and slipped into the room with their sister. The three siblings threw water onto the stove until the problem was solved. That's the way to handle everything…


Jackie let out a breath after the floor had been cleaned, and the siblings decided on pizza. They tried to play rock-paper-scissors to decide what type of take-out to get, but since Ryan kept forgetting to put his hand out, that didn't work.

The older sister looked to the corner of the room where the box of Candy Land sat, looking very desolate on the red rug.

The TV was blaring, Jackie's two brothers rocking out to some song by the Ying Yang Twins. Ryan mostly imitated his older brother, but Matt in turn would just yell at him for doing so and move on to the next move. Then the same thing happened again. It was like a cycle. But not like the Lion King one.

The older girl raised an eyebrow when the phone rang.

"Turn off the damn music," the girl murmured as she reached over to pick up the phone. She shot the two a glare, which made them obey and then collapse onto the floor in a seated position. Rolling her eyes, the sixteen-year old turned her attention to the phone. "Yeah, who is it?" she asked.

"Jack?" a familiar voice asked. "Jeez, no need to be so angry all the time. At least sound a bit cordial when you answer the phone."

Jackie growled, then put on her "pretend" girl voice. "Well, pardon me, Ma'am. I was only peeved because of my oh so darling siblings' ability to irritate me until no end," Jackie said in her fake voice. She then made a 'humph' sound before switching the phone to her other ear. "So, what are you doing tonight, Sarah?" Jackie asked.

A depressed sigh came from the other end. "Watching re-runs of Steve Erwin. Too bad stuff like that has to happen," Sarah murmured.

"Yeah. I, personally, was kinda hoping he would at least be eaten by some type of crocodile…" Jackie added. "Or maybe an armadillo…"

"I thought those were only myths. Like dragons and high heels that don't hurt your feet," Sarah commented.

"They may fucking be, Sarah, but--"

Jackie was interrupted when she heard the rap music suddenly blaring from the TV. The girl whirled around to find her two brothers "rapping" along with them. The sixteen-year old then stomped over to the TV, hit the POWER button with her fist, and held up her pointer finger, telling her two now staring brothers to wait.

"You'll have to excuse me, Sarah," Jackie told her friend on the phone. "I have to take care of something…" And with that, she threw the phone across the room and stared at her two brothers.

They bother pointed to one another, shouting, "It was him!" They glared at each other. "Nuh-uh! It was you!" they yelled simultaneously. "It was NOT me!" they both added, looking to their sister.

Jackie crossed her arms and tapped her foot. "I won't fucking kill the two of you assholes if you wanna battle to the death in front of me. Right here; right now."

The two gulped, then Ryan, the younger, intervened with, "Can I make a suggestion?"

"That depends," Jackie started. "Can dead men make suggestions?"

Ryan laughed nervously. "I'll play you a game in Candy Land. If we win, then you don't kill us and we get to watch the rap."

"…I think she broke the TV already," Matt murmured.

"Quiet, fool!" Jackie shouted, then turned back to her youngest brother. "And if I win?" she asked slyly.

Ryan thought for a moment. "You can send us to bed?"
"Too easy."

"…You can take away our 50 Cent CD's…" Ryan said after a slight pause.

Matt's jaw dropped, and he looked to his sister, waiting for her reaction.

Jackie smirked, sticking out her hand for a shake. "Done deal."

Matt turned to his younger brother.

"So you challenge me?" Ryan asked, hesitating.

"I challenge you to a game of Candy Land," Jackie replied.

The two shook hands.

Matt dramatically fell to his knees and shouted to the sky. "NOOOOOOO!!!!!!"


A drip of sweat landed on the carpet as the clock chimed 8 o'clock. The three siblings sat in the middle of the living room, the family cat sitting to the side of them, licking himself in an awkward way.

A quiet stillness filled the room as Jackie looked at the pile of cards.

Ryan watched her, his eyes waiting suspiciously.

Matt chewed his fingers nails, only thinking of his 50 Cent CD.

Jackie only had her mind on her pride…and kicking her little brother's ass at a game he had once declared himself the king of.

She would now prove SHE was the ruler. Ryan could be the Duke or something. And then Matt would be the hobo who waved his butt at traffic.

"Draw the card," Ryan mumbled after five minutes of Jackie staring at the pile in front of her.

Jackie looked up at him quickly, a glare in her eyes.

"Or…you know…don't," Ryan added quickly and nervously.

Jackie smiled and then reached her hand out, keeping it hovering over the pile of cards. With one swift movement, the sixteen-year old girl had pulled her card out of the pile and looked at it. She raised an eyebrow.

"What is it?" Matt asked when he saw his sister's expression.

Jackie showed her brothers the card. It definitely wasn't there the last time the family had played the game. This card had a picture of a swirl of four colors; red, blue, yellow, and green. In the center of the whirling colors there was a circle. Half of the circle was black and the other white.

"I don't think I've ever--"

A flash of lightening interrupted the girl, and soon, all went black for the three siblings.


I hope that wasn't too long.


"Is that--" Jackie stopped as she pointed to the distance.

"It can't be--" Matt began, looking in the same direction.

The three siblings watched as a young man in green ran towards them.

"I didn't know they had Keebler's Elves in Candy Land!" Ryan shouted.