Um…I don't know...I'm bored...lalala...
…Natasha had brown hair.
She was the only person she knew who had brown hair. Everyone else's hair was either chestnut…or mousy…or chocolate brown…or something more poetic, but her hair was just… brown. And straight, it was straight too, nice and boringly straight. Her eyes were also brown, very boringly brown. Her body was lacking in curves and she felt it to be slightly…boring. The clothes she wore were also boring; in fact her whole appearance was just utterly…boring.
She liked it this way; it meant no one paid any attention to her. She could blend in with the crowd; in fact she even acknowledged it as a skill and wrote it down in her CV.
She sat in the waiting room, tapping her foot nervously on the ground.
The room was very boring. The walls were dirty white, the floor was dirty grey and the furniture was dirty green. The chairs had been arranged in a boring manner and there were boring posters on the wall. It was almost as if someone had deliberately gone out of their way to make the room seem as boring as possible.
Natasha was 22, a very boring age she felt. She'd finished with her education, spent a year moping about at home and now she felt it was her duty to get a job, a nice boring desk job, as her father would say.
So when she read the HELP WANTED FOR A VERY BORING JOB sign by this building she dashed…no, strolled boringly home, picked up her CV and pushed open the door to the building…slowly.
She had been waiting for almost an hour now and was getting bored. No one had been here to great her, she had knocked on the only other door in the room but no one had answered and no one else seemed to be waiting to apply for the job (although she had taken the sign down just in case). But, having nothing else to do, she had waited anyway.
Eventually the front door leading to the street swung open with a ring and a man stepped into the room. He stormed straight towards the other door, completely ignoring Natasha (which didn't surprise her), opened it and disappeared.
She continued sitting until the man reappeared.
He stormed back to the front door, swung it open and walked out into the street. A few seconds later he walked back inside and stared at Natasha as if she had something disgusting on her face.
Natasha shifted uncomfortably under his gaze then stood up to introduce herself. She held up the sign.
"Um…Hi" she said "I was just wondering if…"
"You've got the wrong place" he said
"Oh, has the position already been filled?"
"Yes, now bugger off"
Natasha didn't know quite what to say to this.
"Before I have you arrested for trespassing" he held the door open and motioned for her to get out.
Natasha didn't argue, something told her she wasn't 'wanted' and obviously they had just forgotten to take down the sign. Now that she thought about it, it had looked pretty old. She picked up her CV and headed for the door but someone stepped in front of her. A different man this time, with a much friendlier face.
"Hello" he said cheerfully "I see you've come to answer our 'wanted' sign, do come in, I will be with you shortly." Then he walked through the door at the other end of the room.
Natasha almost…almost stuck her tongue out at the less friendly man, but decided against it. She walked through the office door after the other man and shut it slowly behind her.
The man smiled at her as she entered. "Good morning" he said "My name is David, if you've come about the job please come though to my office"
Natasha looked around her, startled. She felt it was rude to correct him so she just smiled.
David sat down at his desk and started writing. After a while Natasha gave a polite cough to draw his attention.
"Oh, Hello" said the man called David in a cheerful voice as if he'd only just noticed her. He shuffled some papers on his desk "My name is David Hollingsworth and what can I do for you today?"
Natasha was beginning to feel a little uneasy.
"Um…well I've come about the …er… job" she tried
The man smiled hugely "Ah yes, I see you've found our wanted sign. I expect it was carefully hidden amongst the ivy, perhaps a little dirty, maybe some of the words covered up?"
"Congratulations, when can you start?"
Natasha stared at him then decided to ignore this comment "My names Natasha Kitson, I brought my CV" she said and handed it across the desk.
"Brilliant, brilliant" David exclaimed "I see you're perfectly suitable"
"But you didn't even…"
"How does 10 pounds an hour sound?"
"Well that sounds…"
"Excellent so you can start today?" he leant forward and offered her his hand.
Natasha stared at it for a moment then frowned "Um…I'm not sure what…"
"Oh mainly secretarial work, you know, taking notes." He drew back his hand and eyed her suspiciously "Of course, you'd have to provide your own notebook and pen. You do own those things don't you?"
"On your person right now?"
"As a matter of fact I brought them to…"
"Jolly good" he jumped up and put his arm around her shoulders and lead her to the door "You can start now then" he said and showed her out, shutting the door behind her.