AN: Disclaimer- I own nothing that you recognize from anywhere else, I do own the characters and plot and an imaginary chimpanzee, but that's it.
This story is totally lighthearted and I find it stupidly and randomly funny.
"Anna, banana, bandana, kerchief, chief, chef, cook, restaurant, drink, milkshake."
"How do you come up with these things?"
"Dunno, Eclaire. Dunno, doughnut, Dunkin' Doughnuts, dunk, skunk, stripe, pipe, Pied Piper."
"That is so awesome!"
"Your freaky word association thingy!"
I smiled at my friends over my bag of chips. We were all over at Eclaire's house, since she practically lived in a mansion. Eclaire's real name is Lauren, but again, I used my 'freaky word association thingy' to give her a nickname. Lauren, Lucie, luce, loose, lune, Au Claire de la Lune, Claire, Ecliare. Yum, now I'm hungry. I stuffed a handful of chips into my mouth.
I glanced around the circle we had made and burst out laughing, spitting out drops of gucky chips as I did so. No one batted an eye, for you see, this was a regular occurance…
Don't judge me!!!!!!
Anyway, despite popular belief, there is always logic behind what I do. Sometimes not even I recognize it, but it's there all the same.
The reason behind my laughter is this: We are all so entirely different, it's funny.
There is Alexander, or rather, Expert… would you like to know why? All shall be explained at the bottom of the page, but try to figure it out! Anyway, he was a total goth and failing in every class, but it's all good, he's in a really good band, and I think it'll go far. He has natural blood red hair, which is really creepy at first, but he doesn't do anything to it, just leaves it cause he doesn't really care. Expert wears nothing but black and has a really pale face, since he doesn't go out in the sun, since he's allergic to the sun's rays. I'm serious! He also has on a chain necklace his mom gave him before she died and has eyebrow and tongue piercings.
Then there is Eclaire, the uber-rich preppy girl who has really bright, long, flowing blond hair, heart shaped face, and an A average. She is head of the student council at her school and always wears two hair clips, a white polo and a pink sweater vest along with an assortment of different bottoms. She has these huge blue eyes and has, like the perfect body. She doesn't have any piercings and is always at the head of protests.
Next is Anastasia, recently dubbed Milkshake. I love her with all my heart, but she's dumb as a duck-billed platypuss. Milkshake's mother is black and her father is white, giving her a soft, chocolaty complexion. She has high cheek bones and a killer smile. Milkshake's hair has the beautiful colour of her mother, but the natural straightness of her father. She's thin as a stick, but is really flexible and plays more sports than I can count on my fingers, toes, and elbows! She's the fastest runner I have ever laid eyes on and she never gives up on anything. She has an interesting style, everything. I'm serious, she has it all because her father is some huge lawyer or something. You can seriously take her shoping, drag her into any store, point something out to her, and she'll buy it! She has miniskirts, low rise jeans, super high rise knitted plaid pants, and my personal favourite, track pants that say 'Boo! I'm the boogey man!'. They didn't come like that, she just had some pants she never wore and I had a new fabric pen. Pants, meet pen, pen, meet pants. 'Twas that beginning of a beautiful friendship.
There was Jason, a.k.a. Twinkle Toes. Despite the name, he was our bada$$ friend who always got detentions, and always skipped them. He was not happy when I gave him his nickname, oh well. He's stuck with it. Jason is the mysterious guy at his school and doesn't have many friends, mainly because he has us outside of school. He's the hottie all the girls want to date, but he's with Eclaire, only the girls at his school don't know about any of us. I could swear that Jason spends hours getting his hair just right.
Next was Lara, who, by the way, is totally and unhealthily boy crazy. She's Jason's twin sister. I call her Bat. She is really short with awesome bright blue hair. No, not natural hair, but that would be so awesome! Natural bright blue hair! I want it!!! She is really eccentric and has never had a boy friend for more then one day, 7 hours, 46 seconds. It was a momentous occasion, and I happened to have a watch, so what if I counted.
My last out of school friend is Bob. Just Bob. I love the name too much I can't beat to give him a nickname. I mean, who wouldn't love the name Bob? It is so awesome! He's a total golden boy, you know? Do I have to describe it? I didn't think so. He's Eclaire's cousin.
Then there is me, Margaret, or, Porridge. I have that color hair that some people call blond and some people call brown and these really creepy eyes that I can never find the colour of, sometimes bright, bright blue, but with specks of dark green, sometimes totally grey and my pupils practically disappear, it's really quite scary. I have a tendency to get bored with my hair, so I die the tips a different colour whenever I'm bored. Today they are bright red. I hate to shop, so I just wear whatever is in my room. My friends started to take pity on my and give me new and fashionable clothes every holiday. Except Expert, he makes me a leather necklace or bracelet or something. I have a baby brother and a kid sister. His name is Jamie, mom said I wasn't allowed to give him a nickname until he realized that his real name was Jamie, but my sister, Beatrice, I call Trixy.
"I bet I could co it." Bat yelled out. "In fact, I bet I can tie any two words together!"
"Okay." That was Eclaire. "Yellow and cloud."
"Okay… um…Yellow…yell…tell…tell, tell, tell… tale? No." Bat sighed. "I give up." She muttered.
Everyone turned toward me. I sighed as though they were all silly little grade one children. "Fine, I shall do it, but only this once. I really is simple you know. But you started it off totally wrong, Bat. Yellow, low, high, sky, cloud."
"Billy Boot and Lucky Charms!" Yelled out Milkshake.
"Billy Boot, Billy, bill, pay, food, cereal, Lucky Charms." I yelled off quickly.
Everyone just kind of stared at me, it was creepy.
I dug my hand into my bag of chips, staring right back at them, I almost always win them, except sometimes Expert beats me, 'cause, you know, he's an expert and all that.
Drat, no more chips, I was hungry.
"Can we order pizza?" I asked, turning to look directly at Eclaire, still not blinking.
"Sure. What do you guys want?" She told me, shaking her head and getting up to get the phone.
"A turkey dinner, really." I told her. "But I'll settle for an all dressed pizza slice or five."
I still hadn't blinked, but I didn't want to stare at them all night. Expert had already gotten bored and had started listening to Twinkle Toes' iPod, so he was out of the contest. I used my last resort, the one that gets everybody. I twitched my eye and blew out my huge cheeks. They all started to laugh, even Twinkle Toes, he gives up his tough guy act when he's with us.
After the laugh fit, I looked around at them all. "Are there any balloons in this house?"
Expert: Alexander, Xander, Xylophone, phone, telephone, telegraph, graph, math, exponent, expert.
Twinkle Toes: Jason, son, sun, moon, mooney, looney, tooney, tu-tu, ballet, Twinkle Toes.
Bat: Lara, larvae, bug, caterpillar, cat, kitten, kitty, kit, sewing kit, sew, so, sonar, bat.
Trixy: Beatrice, trice, thrice, dice, trick, Trixy.
Porridge: Margaret, Marge, mag, meg, megan, may, tray, breakfast tray, breakfast, cereal, hot cereal, porridge.