My name is Nocte Yin, and I am 14 years old. I have shoulder-length black hair, no bangs and dark almond-shaped eyes. I'm a bit wide and I'm anything but beautiful. I'm just past five feet, my blood type is rare and you are so not going to know my weight. I like to read and learn, and being lazy. I dislike exercise of any kind, and people who are mean and spiteful and snobby. None of my ears are pierced, but I do have a braces. And as you can already guess, I am Chinese.
My life began under a full moon on Friday October the 13th at midnight – sharp. I was to be the third child, second daughter, of Umbra Yin and Malise Yin (née Hēi). Little did I know what was predetermined for me.
My parents had such high hopes for me. The date and time of my birth should have cemented me to be the best. For you see, my family is full of villains, the most evil villains. My father is a mad scientist and my mother is a malevolent sorceress. My older brother, Gash, is a destructive warlord, my older sister, Ebony, is the Wicked Witch of the Southeast, my younger sister, Occult, is an immoral psychic, and my little brother, Dire, is an evil genius, the Emperor of Lamise.
When I was born, my father was already the Head of our Clan, the infamous Yin Clan. Our clan was, and still is, the best. We were made of old money and lived by old traditions, but that did not stop us from stealing new money and redefining evil society. And the moment I formed in my mother's womb, I became no normal fetus. I was a Yin fetus.
News spread of my birth, and of the unnatural phenomenon of a full moon, Friday and the number 13. Along with those mysterious, and great things when concerning an evil family, there were also the rumours. Fortunetellers all across Erisire had spoken of me, and of how I'd never be evil.
My parents weren't discouraged at all. They had simply killed them all, and then went back to cuddling me with their stained hands.
By the time I was one year old, my parents were proud of me. I was strong, witty and determined. These traits were looked upon as perfect characteristics of a great villain. And as the years passed, their mood brightened. I was a fast learner, summoning low-levelled demons and hunting fairies by age two.
It was when I was a three-year-old did I fill my parents with so much pride that they almost drowned in it (a pity that they didn't). It happened at night when I woke up from a noise just outside my door. I crept out to find a man sneaking about suspiciously. He turned, spotted me and quickly caught me. And as I was about to yell, he clamped a cloth over my nose and mouth. I don't remember much, but I do remember the indignation I had felt, the heat flowing into my eyes, and then the next moment, he was on the floor twitching.
They said it was a Death Glare, a naturally born ability. They said that the man had poisoned me, but my body had an immune system unlike any before. They said I was a gift given to my parents by Yen-Lo-Wang, Lucifer, Loki, Hades – whichever.
I would become the perfect evil villain.
My whole entire family did not know what to think. My great-grandparents and the rest of the elders were satisfied to see that the line would live on strong and undisturbed. My own aunts and uncles were angry. They had hoped, from the fortunes, that I would weaken my father's position as the Head of the Clan so that they may take it for themselves.
And my parents, they were so proud of me. The praises kept coming, and so did the love. The love, so warm and secure. It was the only thing that made us differ from the rest of the family. We loved each other, the rest of them hated each other. But all good things must come to an end, or at least slow down like frozen syrup.
Occult was born, a psychic right off the bat. The moment she took her first breath, objects started flying, windows started shattering and servants started teleporting. My parent gushed over her.
At first, the change started gradually. My father would still read to me and teach me math, and my mother would still correct my magic circles and guide my chakra to the right direction at the right amount. But soon, I found my father stop in mid-sentence to see to my crying sister, and my mother would halt in magic lessons to feed the hungry baby.
I was left alone, in the shadows, watching as they turned their backs to me. It was only right that they saw to the baby, I knew that, and as they paid more attention to Occult, Gash and Ebony paid more attention to me. I learned to wield weapons from my older brother, and to cast new spells from my older sister. And as I listened to them, I was waiting for my parents. But as Occult got older; she began to attract more notice. She was a great psychic, throwing both my parents speechless.
Ebony had told me that it had been the same for Gash and her when I was born. She had said that our parents were busy dreaming of our little sister's great path for world domination, and that soon, they'd come back down to reality and see the rest of us again, dreaming of all our paths to world domination.
Hearing this, I quickly became adept in multiple skills. I wanted my parents to concentrate on me, and solely on me, and to do that, I must become what they wanted the most: evil. I harassed the servants, killed pixies and destroyed properties. I was shaping up to be a wonderful spawn of Satan.
But when the time came, it was already too late for me.
Before I could show my father my great inventions or my mother the spells I had mastered, Ebony had killed the Wicked Witch of the East, bringing about our parents' interest to her, along with the rest of the villain society. Then Dire was born, a genius surpassing our father. At ten months, he had solved a rubrics cube, I know because I saw.
I vied and I vied, but I was getting nowhere. No matter how many orcs I've burned, they were talking about Gash's legions of terror. No matter how many unicorns I've lured, they were thinking of Ebony's success. No matter how many gargoyles I've dissected, they were teaching Occult new skills. And no matter how many gnomes I've stabbed, they were telling Dire what a good job he was doing.
They weren't looking at me, because I hadn't done anything big. Like deceiving my own master and taking over his army, or killing a prestigious witch, or hypnotizing four great heroes to do my biding, or rewiring our father's whole computer mainframe. I had nothing to my name.
By then, I was six. By then, I had realized something. Yes, our parents loved us all equally and (most importantly) each other, however… evil came before love.
My parents were proud of our achievements, and specifically of the achievements themselves. To date, Gash had taken over his late master's legions, Ebony had destroyed one of the Wicked Witches, Occult had control over four legendary heroes ever since she was three, Dire had caused tyranny and taken over an empire in less than a year, and I?
I had nothing, and still I have, nothing as I watched my parent just out of hands' reach. My siblings were hugging them because of their crimes, and I had no crimes to my name. All their greatness covered me up from the eyes of our parents. I had often wondered if whether I was jealous or if there wasn't enough love for all of us. But the truth was, their love went towards the most evil at the time.
Seeing that my parents affections were on everyone, but me, I looked out of my own family to the rest of the members, and that's when I saw that the rest of the family did not love each other. The rest of the family married for power. The rest of the family had children to save face. There was a rivalry so potent and contagious that I could see some of it on my siblings' faces.
One day, I had looked in the mirror, and saw all that hidden hate for my siblings, all that envy crawling below my skin. And I had never been so ugly in my life. I then realized, in a way, we were all competing for our parents' love. We may never say it, but we know it's there.
So I thought to myself, is it still love when it seems so… false? It was like another tool that was used to make us reach higher, and I questioned whether my parents' love was genuine or was it just a façade they put up to make us be more evil for them? Did they put love at the end of a fishing pole so that we follow wherever they led us?
Did our parents love us at all, or was it fake?
And that's when I decided.
If being evil means to not love, then I didn't want to be evil at all.
When I was seven, I told my parents that I did not want to be evil, fearing that they'd hate me, but all they did was smile and pat me on the back. And then I told them that I wanted to go to Athena Academy, the school for neutral people, and they laughed and nodded their heads. They thought it was a joke.
They thought it was a phase, but I was resolute.
My relatives were full of glee at my announcement to not be evil. They had thought that it was their chance to crumble our family, but they were wrong. They had sent assassins to kill me. They had poisoned my food. They had set traps. I had evaded the assassins. I had trained my body to fight off the poisons. I had avoided the traps. They had made me stronger.
And then the Elders, they were concerned about my decision. They had told me tales full of lies about how people, who were not evil, suffered in their own pathetic accomplishments of growing a garden and boiling soup. Why do all that when you could be evil and have servants do it for you? Then when they saw me unmoved, they threatened to take away my computer, my clothes, my bed and everything else.
My father, upon hearing this, quickly stepped in to stop them. He had been angry, angry that they would dare threaten his child. I guess father does have a redeeming quality, after all. This same protectiveness is also in my brothers, and my male cousins on my mother's side of the family.
For the next five years, I had stayed away from everything that was evil. I had stopped entering my father's lab in the basement. I had stopped listening to my mother's sexual escapades. I had stopped talking to Gash, Ebony, Occult and Dire about their jobs, of what they were doing and how they were going to do it, and various other things. I had even tried to stop killing bugs (but they're gross so they deserve to die).
At Athena, I had made friends and learned many new and different things that my parents had not taught me. I learned to heal, to be kind and have empathy for others. I had begun to understand how good people do things and that it felt good to help one another. I had been taught that just because I am a Yin, it didn't mean that I could go and order my peers around. It was a rewarding experience throughout my time at Athena.
And slowly, my family saw me change. From a jealous and cruel girl to a kind and understanding young preteen. They weren't repulsed, in fact, they unknowingly welcomed the new me. My honest approach had struck a cord within my family full of plotting and undermining. They liked the fact that I was nice, but they would never voice it. However, them accepting me made me love them even more.
It wasn't until I was twelve, turning thirteen in just a few months, did my parents sit me down to have a talk with me. They grasped the fact that it wasn't just a phase – it was for real. They told me that I was going to Evil Academy, the school for villains-in-the-making.
I was upset, of course I was. I couldn't understand why they couldn't understand, but I went anyway. They were worried about me. They were worried because I was a Yin, and if a Yin were not evil, they would be ridiculed and ganged up on. So I went to Evil, albeit unhappy on my part, but I went. I went because of the love for my parents, and the love they held, and still hold (I think), for me. They were doing what they thought was best for me.
During my first year, I refused to accept things at first, but as the months passed by, I had begun to see how the school was run. Although there were a lot of scheming and harsh words, there was also an order to it. Evil Academy only allowed the rich to enter, and rich villains were dignified and organized.
By the end of the year, I had overcome evil professors, had a small victory under my belt, obtained myself a faithful spy and made… a friend.
Then, in the second year… just last year, in fact… my so-called "friend" was no longer a friend… and my family…?
My family loves me.
I am certain that they love me.
So why, I ask myself.
Why did they betray me?
My name is Nocte Yin, and I am the third child of the First Family of the Yin Clan. And as I sit here, writing this, I already know the answer to that question, but I do not accept it at all. To make me stronger? Why?
Right now, I cannot believe it. How did I get here? Why am I here? What was he thinking?
Everything went by so fast that I'm having trouble recalling them. Perhaps this will help me sort through all the confusion and events that had happened this year. But I can't help but think to myself… what if I was never a Yin? Would I have an honest family? Would I have honest friends? Would I love and be loved back honestly?
I don't know… but one thing is for sure.
I would still be the same.
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( t - h - e - p - o - i - n - t . l i v e j o u r n a l . c o m / )