I've always been told not to compete with you.
"It's not healthy."
I can understand that. I can imagine the tension it would cause if I did.
And I didn't compete.
We each had our own interests and talents, and while they intersected, our strengths lay in different areas.
I did my thing and you did yours.
Come to think of it, I never wanted to compete with you. I wasn't even jealous.
I admired you. I was awed by you. I was always proud to acknowledge who you were in relation to me.
There was never any competition there.
But then something happened.
Then our interests became too similar and we decided to do the same thing.
And then I went from being proud to feeling inferior,
Because you were older, so it seemed like you came up with it first, when in actuality, it was my idea.
This was supposed to be my thing. Now it just looks like I'm copying you.
Of course, you succeeded. I knew you would.
But then I felt like I had to live up to you and your success.
Everyone knows you.
I'm kind of like the following act.
It's a lot of pressure, having to follow you.
What if I'm not as good as you?
What if I fail?
Now that I think about it, you probably had these feelings too.
It's not that I'm trying to compete with you…I'd say it's more like I'm comparing myselfto you.
You've always been so good at everything. How can I get to your level?
There aren't even competitive feelings. It's more a feeling of self-doubt on my part.
That whole confidence thing I have to work on.
I admire your confidence.
Did it always come easy to you? Maybe I'd feel a little better if I knew that there were times when you doubted yourself too.
Fake it 'til you make it, right?
Too much competition is unhealthy . . . but learning isn't.
So why not learn from the best?