Can't Help But Smile
By Storm December
Summary: One-shot. "It may hurt for a little while, but you'll remember me with a smile." That was the last thing she said to me, and then she was gone. Sebastian tells the story of his ex-love, and then gets a surprise. Inspired by the song 'She'll Leave You With A Smile' by George Strait.
A/N: One-shot. Inspired by the song 'She'll Leave You With A Smile' by George Strait.
"It may hurt for a little while, but you'll remember me with a smile."
That was the last thing she said to me. The only reason I'm thinking about my ex-girlfriend, Emily, right now is because I had a dream about her last night. No, not one of those kinds of dreams. But a dream that's more of a memory kind of thing. When I woke up this morning I couldn't get it out of my head. So now I'm sitting in a café, before I have to go to work, thinking about her and our past relationship.
We started dating when I was fresh out of college and had just gotten a job at this new law firm.
"I'm so excited for you!!! We have to celebrate," Emily says with great enthusiasm, sitting on the kitchen counter of their one bedroom flat.
"Ah, I'm still on the lower level. I haven't done anything yet," Sebastian says modestly, putting the cordless phone back on the charger.
"Oh nonsense, you got the job. That's a start," she says giving him a kiss when he stands in front of her. "Now how do you want to celebrate? By painting the town red, dinner at a fancy restaurant or a romantic dinner at home with just the two of us?" Emily asks, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively at the last comment.
"How about we skip all of that, stay here and um… You let me think of something," Sebastian says, nibbling on her ear. Emily giggles at that then Sebastian picks her up and takes her to their room.
We had great times, the two of us. We were together for about five years, and after the waitress refills my coffee, I think about the time I lost my first case.
"It'll be ok baby, as long as you learn from this experience. Don't worry, you'll win next time," Emily says as she massages Sebastian shoulders and back, while he's lying on the living room floor in front of the TV, with her sitting on his bum.
"If there is a next time," Sebastian mumbles miserably with his face in his crossed arms.
"There will be. They're not going to fire you just because you lost one case," Emily says smiling.
"Well what if it's not just one. What if I just suck at being a Lawyer?" Sebastian asks looking over his shoulder at her. She chuckles a little bit.
"'Bastian' calm down. This is new for you right now, but once you learn your trade you'll be a great Lawyer. You'll see. And you never know you may just make partner one day," she says kissing his jet black hair. Sebastian snorts derisively as he turns over onto his back.
"I highly doubt that," he says kissing her on her forehead, "But thanks for the thought," he finishes and she shakes her head.
"I don't, and you've got to have more confidence in yourself. And besides just remember. You can't really appreciate a win, unless you experience a few losses." Emily says perspicaciously as she rests her head on Sebastian's chest.
She was right of course, I did make partner. About six months ago. She was right about a lot of thing. I remember the next time I won a case.
When Sebastian enters the flat he shares with his girlfriend, he drops his briefcase and coat on the living room chair then picks Emily up from the couch and starts twirling her around.
"You won," she says softly raping her arms around his neck with a grin on her face.
"I won," he says just as softly. Then laughs when she squeals and starts giggling, hugging him tighter around the neck.
"I knew you could do it baby," Emily says excitedly. "Do you believe in yourself more?" she asks quietly.
"I do. And you know what? You were right. I do appreciate it a lot more now." Sebastian says kissing her deeply.
We made love all night that night, and I think it was the best day of my life. I felt like I could do anything. Including spend the rest of my life with her. We were doing wonderfully up until about a year before we broke up.
"While do I feel like I'm losing you," Sebastian whispers to Emily in the darkness of their room. He continues to run his fingers through her hair waiting for an answer. He's lying in bed on his back with his head pillowed on his right arm and she's lying on her back with her head pillowed on his left arm and shoulder.
"You know when I was younger, my family and I use to travel all over the United States. My mom would say, "The winds a calling," and then we'd pack up and head out to where ever the road lead. We never stayed in the same place twice. But after a while my dad got tired of moving though, and he wanted to settle down and buy a home. But my mom didn't want to, or maybe she couldn't, so she left him. Took my two brothers, baby sister and me, and kept going. She use to say that if she ever stopped she'd die. I think she was right, because after a while, when my siblings and I where grown, she started missing my father. So, she went back to him. About a year later she got sick and passed away." she pauses for a moment and Sebastian tries to absorb all that he's heard. "The tradition carried on to my life when I got older though. I think this is the longest I've ever stayed in one place before," Emily says rolling over onto her stomach and cuddling up to Sebastian side. "Go to sleep 'Bastian'. You go to work early tomorrow morning."
I felt like there was nothing I could say or do, so I went to sleep. Sometimes I wish I hadn't. Maybe then thing could have been different. A year later I came home to find all her stuff packed up.
When Sebastian walked through the front door of his shared flat, he found two suit cases sitting on the floor next to his girlfriend who was sitting on the couch.
"What's going on," he asks carefully as be sets his briefcase down by the door.
"I can't stay in one place too long 'Bastian'. I start to feel trapped," she says looking up at him.
"Fine. Travel where ever you want, I don't care, just come back," Sebastian says with a hint of desperation etching into his voice.
"I can't 'Bastian'. You know that. I never go to the same place twice," Emily says standing up.
"So that's it? You're just going to leave what we have? Leave me? And for what? Because the… the freaking road is call to you?" Sebastian yells.
"'Bastian' please. I'm sorry," she says desperately. "I tried. For a year I tried to forget about it and make it work. But I can't try anymore. Sometimes I wake up and I can't even breathe. I feel like I'm suffocating. And it's not you, 'Bastian', but this is who I am and I can't change that. I'm sorry," she says with tears falling from her eyes. She whips her face, picks up her luggage and starts walking towards Sebastian who's still standing by the door.
"I love you," Sebastian says quietly, and that's all he can say. He knows he can't stop her, so he just sits down and cries.
"I know you do, and I love you too. But you have to let me go," she whispers as she moves around him and opens the door. "It may hurt for a little while, but you'll remember me with a smile," Emily barely whispers then shuts the door behind her.
Then she was gone. That was about a year or so ago. I couldn't stay there anymore either, so I transferred out of the firm in Los Angeles and moved to the one in Boston. There's a new girl in my life, Autumn, and we've been dating for a few months now. There's a part of me that still loves Emily, but I like my new life here and I'm glad I came. It's a fresh start and I needed one.
I still don't really know what Emily meant by the last thing she said to me, but I guess it doesn't matter now. Besides I have to get to work. I leave my pay for my coffee on the table with a tip. As I exit the café, I look up and see Emily walking towards me holding hands with some guy. When she looks up at me she smiles.
"Hello," she says and keeps walking right by me.
I stare after her for a moment. Then walk to my car, and as I pull away from the curb, for some reason unbeknownst to me. I can't help but smile.
A/N: Tell me what you think and review please!!!!! TTFN!!! ;-)
Aimers: Thanks for the review and the advice!!! I appreciate it and it helped!! ;-)