Confessions from a Secret admirer (is currently being edited

Confessions from a Secret admirer (is currently being edited. My apologies to those who are receiving alerts yet are not planning to reread the chapters anyway)

Chapter I: the first letter

"I hate the day, because it lendeth light,to see all things, but not my love to see."
Edmund Spenser

Dear Mateo,

This is the will be the first of several letters you will be receiving. I'm not quite sure how many there'll be, not that it matters cause you probably receive a lot. There's absolutely no way to tell you how I feel. Why? Well, for one thing, I'm not sure about how I feel. You're the only guy I know who can have me love him and hate him at the same time.

Anyway, loving you is nothing new since everyone loves you. Every girl wants to be with you and every guy secretly wants to be you. You've got the whole student body locked under your smile. It's fascinating how you do that.

Everyone is just so intrigued by everything you do. I hate you because every thought of you breaks my heart. It's not your fault really it isn't. It's just that you leave me so…I don't know. I can't define how I feel. I'm sorry, I just am.

To tell you the truth this is so cheap. I can't believe I'm doing this but I figured what the heck. If this is the only way to get to you then here it is.

I'm not sure how I'm supposed to end this letter. This is just the starter and I just wanted to tell you how the world sees you. Not that you care how the world sees you cause I know you don't and that's just one of the things I absolutely love bout you. I know I sound like all your other admirers and maybe I am. But then, who am I to judge? I

can't tell you how to feel about me can I?. Um…I think that's it. Bye now.


Your you-know-what.

I sighed as I glanced at Mateo only to look right back down at the letter when he turned his head. Mateo had these eyes that were shaded brown and the sun tanned his skin. He was a bit taller than me and had a perfect built. I know I sound like a little lovesick girl but I'm not. I've just never written a letter as "Secret Admirer" before. I'm insane, I know.

I feel like one of those girls who never get noticed by the guy they like so try hard to get noticed by these guys. But I'm nothing like that, really.

Anyway, just then the bell rang and the weekend began…

"So, Mira, what are you planning this weekend?" I stashed the letter under my book the moment his voice broke my thoughts and I realized he was walking nearer.

"Huh?" I asked absent-mindedly but Mateo only smiled. The smile that caught the hearts of many, the smile he keeps flashing me, will he just stop doing it?

"You're drifting away to your 'Mira's World' again. Can't you keep your mind on earth even for a while?" I looked up at him,

"No, not as long as you're on it. The world can handle only one freakishly insane artist/writer at a time so there's just not enough room for the both of us."

He laughed, "Then maybe I should go with you to Mira's World sometime."

I hope you do but then I wouldn't be able to explain when you see pictures of you all over the place.

"I don't think that's such a good idea", I answered, holding in my laugh. He frowned, "Why not?"

"Because…I know that every Mateo-obsessed girl in the city would follow you there and, frankly, I don't want my world to be crowded."

"Ha…ha…ha…funny. You know I'd trade all those girls for a day in your world any time. I think I'm happy you're not disgustingly dressed, desperate for attention or crazy for me. And I also think I'm happy that instead of that, you're my friend. "

He smiled.

Of course, I'm always the friend and never the girl.

"You think? You mean you're not sure?" I raised a sarcastic eyebrow and folded my arms over my chest.

"Well, you are the craziest girl in The Divine High School and honestly, I don't think anyone would want to be friends with someone insane. That's why you're luck to have me" He smirked

"You're mean and just as crazy as I am. You're even crazy enough to think I'm the one lucky to have you"

Not that I'm not cause I am, very much.

"Aw…I'm touched but you're just saying that." he answered. I laughed, hard but he only smiled again.

But then the expression on his face changed. He looked like he wanted to run off.

"Hi, Mateo, darling." Elektra purred as she came into distance. Elektra, still in her designer outfit, always followed Mateo around, just like most of his admirers do.

"Oh, hey Elektra. So…um…how did you're Chem. exam go?" Mateo asked with a forced smile, might I emphasize. Don't get me wrong, Elektra isn't completely ugly cause if she was then she wouldn't be the most popular girl in The Divine. Just think Reese Witherspoon with a fake chest, too much make up and plastic surgery nose. She's crazy for Mateo and he's not very fond of the idea. Mateo can't really do anything about it since he's her tutor. Oh, did I forget to mention? People say he's pretty smart – I personally think he's pretty brilliant…but that just me.

"Perfect, as usual, just like my tutor. I know, why don't we go celebrate?" Her blue eyes lit up but Mateo almost groaned.

"Um…thanks but no thanks, Elektra. I already have plans for today."

"Like what? What could be better than eating in one of the finest restaurants in the city or watching a movie with me?" She insisted.

"I…um…I-I…" Mateo's eyes shifted to me and they stared hard, like I could actually save him from a date with Elektra.

"He was going to…um…" Elektra still stood there, tapping her Prada while waiting for an answer. Oh, great. Sorry, Matt, I've done what I could.

"See? There is nothing better to do. So come with me already." She said, grabbing his hand. Mateo sighed, "Oh, alright."

She began to pull him away, "Sorry, Matt, I didn't exactly help you out, did I?" I whispered just before he actually started to move.

"That's all right. But I really must do something about her."

"You'll figure something out."

He smiled, his brown eyes lit up and I smiled back as she slowly dragged him away from me, again.

Mateo's P.O.V.

She's dragging me away, again… Man, I'm getting tired of this girl pulling me away to nowhere. Don't get me wrong; she's not ugly at all. She's just… not my type.

"Elektra, where exactly are you taking me?" Not that I didn't already know that she was taking me to Chef Pier, like she always insists on doing.

"Oh, darling, don't fret. It'll be a wonderful surprise", Elektra answered in a purr again.

She really has to stops purring. I mean she's no cat.

She led me to her usual limo with the usual driver opening the door for us. I gave him a kind nod and he smiled back.

The inside of Elektra's car was never the most comfortable place for me. Inside she continued to lean against me. I, on the other hand, tried to move as close to the window as possible.

"Uh, William, are we there yet?" I asked her driver. Yes, I know her driver. After being dragged away by Elektra several times, Old Will has always been able to save me from several embarrassing moments.

"Indeed, sir." That when we stopped in front of Chef Piers'. See? Didn't I tell you this is where we we're going?

To spare you the gruesome details, Elektra and I ate and that was about it. The whole thing was your average girl trying to get near me and me trying get as far as humanly possible. I was never into this dating a rich and flirty girl thing so I slipped away the moment I could. That was after the meal when we just got out of the restaurant.

When I got home, I was absolutely beat. "Mom, nandito na'ko" I yelled out in Filipino as I walked into the house. Yes, I'm no pure American boy cause I'm a mixture a couple of races. 7:00 pm said the clock hanging above the kitchen door.

I walked into the kitchen to find my mom cooking one of her Native dishes. "Hey, my boy how was your day?" She asked also in Filipino.

"Okay lang." I told her. She kissed me on the cheek (yes, my mom is old fashioned) then I exited and when right back to the living room. There's still time to call her over, Mira, I mean. I actually have fun when I'm with her. She doesn't make me feel like I have to prove anything to her cause she doesn't feel nervous around me but neither does she smother herself on me.

I picked up the phone and dialed her number. After several rings, it was answered, "Hello?" Said the familiar voice.

"Hello, good evening. May I speak to Mirzam Nashira please?"

"Speaking, who's this?"

"Hello? Mira? Earth to Mira, it's me, Mateo." Her tone suddenly changed, "What the… Can you please stop calling me by my whole name?"

"Fine. Fine." I laughed. It was actually fun to tease her of her whole name.

She growled, "Alright, what do you want Matt?"

"Okay, okay. I was wondering if you could come over to my house."

"What for, Matt? It's kind of late, don't you think?"

"Oh, come on, Mira. Just give me a hand on my writing assignment. You know I've always been more of a novelist than a journalist."

"Oh, fine. Let me check." She disappeared for a moment and all I could hear were discussions in Filipino. Yes, Mirzam Nashira is a pure blood Filipino. She doesn't have the brownish eyes most of us have. Her eyes are pure black, just like her hair.

"Hey, Matt, My parents said yes. I'll be there in a few." She said, breaking my thoughts.

"Good. Bye and see yah in a few, Nashi."


"Sorry, Mira. See you." I laughed again then put down the phone. I wasn't really worried since Mira is never really mad at people. She isn't into ignoring people cause I know she couldn't even. I just love that about her.

Anyway, I ran to my room, to my dresser and changed into more comfortable clothes. I wore my usually shirt and jogging pants, just to be a little causal.

That's when the doorbell suddenly rang. I yelled, "Ako na kukuha." (I'll get it)

I opened the door and found Mira in her usual shirt and jeans. Her eyes lit under the moonlight. She finally stepped in and threw me a smile. Her sun tanned skin still the way it always is and her hair was tied up in a pony.

"Are you done giving me a blank stare yet?" She asked laughing a bit.

"Oh, was I giving you a blank stare?" What? I have the right to play innocent don't I?

"No, Matt, it was just my imagination." She said sarcastically

"Really?" She glared. "Kidding" I laughed and she only smiled back.

Mira sat on the couch and put down all the stuff she was carrying. She looked as if she was waiting for me to say something and for a minute I forgot why I called her over in the first place.

"So… I think we'd better get started" I broke the silence.

"Okay so where's your material?" She asked, not turning to me. She seemed busy, staring at the family pictures nail on the wall. She seemed unfocused and just a little anxious. Hmm…I wonder why? Maybe its…

"Hello? Mateo, still there? Done with the blank staring yet?" She broke my thoughts again.

"Huh? Uh…yeah, what material?" What am I doing? Why am I so not myself right now?

"Duh, Matty, your fact sheet, your basis for your article, what else?" She looked at me as if there was something seriously wrong with me, and there was.

"Oh, okay. Wait, a sec. it's in my bag." She smiled and had this "finally" look on her face.

"Sure thing. But can you do it with in the night? I have a meeting tomorrow." She teased

"Sure thing." So I ran to my to find my bag, to find my data sheet. I love the way Mira and I could just kid around and tease

each other with out feeling bad about it. We know each other well enough to not be offended.

So anyway, when I found my bag, I kneeled down to grab my notebook out. When I pulled it out, something fell out of my bag as well. I looked down to pick it up. It was a white envelope or, rather, a letter.

A/N: So here it is, my first chapter. Writing this at three in the morn isn't the brightest idea I've ever had so please forgive any typo. How is it anyway? I'm still putting it together so hope you give it a chance. I'm still building up the chracters so I guess all in all I'm still working on it. If you've got anything to say, I'mopen to all comments, thanks.