love spilled

spit.choke.vomit.bleed.

and i've done what i can to try to make
you understand the hurt you cause(d) but
please don't make suicide the only option
(again) because i failed once before and i
know i'll fail again (i can hear you asking
why bother then?). choke back your pride
(for once) and listen to my words. i promise
it's worth more than the tears and blood i
spill for you (still). i'm dreading the time
when we meet again, accepting the facts
and reasons why you are silent as i bleed.

there aren't enough words to describe how
much it hurts and how numb i felt as i ble(e)d.
and would it hurt (you) too much to admit
that you were numb as you read the letters
i wrote a year ago? (and i don't blame you.)

i can't think of anything better to do than
to bleed until your eyes see the red and
when you realize that this is real (but don't
worry because i don't expect anything soon).