Mix-Matched History
9.28.6

I like how permanent it is.
Never quite gone but faded.
When I can't explain how anything,
is the way it is.
When I can't reach into the reason,
how I got here.
When nothing seems quite right, but
it's just a little off key...
I'm just a little off key?
Am I getting closer?
This flashing light at the end of-
a dark road, unforeseen to me.
Everything I don't want to be, and then-
a little of who I am,
can't wait.
I can't catch up but I'm not behind, it's just-
that life is too surreal to be mine and it just-
doesn't fit in. It doesn't fit me; because-
I wasn't this way before, was I?
Those childhood scenarios couldn't have...
They don't seem like my life...but then-
Nothing does, does it?
My wiped blank without the key to comprehension, and-
mainly I don't want any of it.
Why am I here with you now?
How did we get like this?
What's the future of problems ahead?
This is dead end road we're treading.
The flashing golden light pounding in my mind.
A dark street.
Crossing and it feels so bad.
Everything I don't want to be, and then-
a little of who I am, that-
doesn't fit.
A fleet of experience that don't connect.
Nothing fits.
My mix-matched history.