her angel feathers

she doesn't know how much it (wouldn't) hurt to not
bleed for you. after all, it's been over a year since
she first started and she still struggles with it every
now and again. she's curious to know how many of
her angel feathers that have been plucked from her
wings each time the blade dragged against her skin.

she was always waiting for you to help her pick up
the broken pieces (of her past) and tell her that it's
okay to feel like this (because everything tells her
that this is so wrong). she was always waiting for
you to comfort her, caress the scars, and say that
you're sorry and you would do anything to take the
silence back and fill it with words about reasons why
you chose to stay silent and how much it hurt you.

she could never explain to you how much it hurt
her because if you (only) knew, you would never be
able to look her in the eyes again without feelings
of regret and guilt sinking deep inside your heart.
but could such a day ever come? because she still
takes those "happy pills" to make her feel better
and when those aren't enough, she drowns herself
in music and every now and again, her own blood.

but do forgive her because she's only trying to get
you to understand (and as you can see, she's such
a failure when it comes to something such as this).