For You

Fallen down on the ground of this desolate broken wasteland.

I cry and hold my memories of you to me wishing you were here with your laughter.

It always made me feel better.

They told me that the worst of it was over but I know that it's not.

No matter how many comforting, frustrating words they say it wont go away.

Because the pain can dull and ebb but its never far from my mind.

It's still as evident as the day that you died.

They told me that you were " No good."

That since you took your own life I shouldn't look up to you.

Love you, cry for you, that I should just get over you.

No one is that important.

I'm to young to understand love.

But they always said stupid things.

A sometimes I wonder if it was my fault.

If I pushed you to that dreaded edge.

MY problems.

MY tears.

MY hurt.

I pushed, pushed, pushed you until you fell spiraling down until you were finally caught by that noose.

But in that letter that I read every day you never blame me.

In fact you praise me.

Saying that I was the one that kept you here for so long.

That this decision was because of you, for you.

I just wish that I could accept that.

A/N- This is for a friend of mine who killed himself. I really miss you Josh.