Ok so, chapter one has been rewriten and I would like to say thank you! to Fading Innocence. You have helped me greatly and I am very thankful. Now to those who have notyet reviewed my story, I can take constructive criticism very well. If you insult me or flame me, I will be a little hesitant to ever write again. I don't know why, that's just how I work. So to end me talking basically, this chapter has been redone. A lot is different. It is better. I like it. Some parts are boring. I am aware but honestly if you can keep a story going nonstop action and "spice" tell me how. Cause I'd like to be able to also. Please review!!
The city held a buzz of excitement in the air as Prince Michael was preparing to become the new king. He had only one more day to spend as prince, and he didn't even know what to do with himself. He sat at his window brushing his blonde shoulder length hair. His deep green eyes looking at the townspeople going about their days. He laid down his brush and sighed. How could everyone be so happy when his father was dying? He looked into the full-length mirror and noticed his features. He looked nothing like his father. His father was masculine. Michael had a feminine body and long dark eyelashes.
"I don't want to be a weak king." He said looking at his thin waist.
"You won't be." Came a sweet voice from behind. Michael turned around to see his beloved younger brother, Prince Andrew.
"Andy? What are you doing wandering around? Shouldn't you be at your fencing lesson?"
"I should, but I want to spend your final day as prince with you." Andy smiled. His full lips were the only beauty Michael did not possess. Michael's lips were just your everyday average looking lips. Nothing special. Michael studied his brother. His dark brown eyes were covered with thick eyeliner. His stone black hair hung in his face covering his eyes.
"Why do you hide your eyes?" Michael asked.
"Because they're ugly." Andy retorted.
"I have to disagree. You look mysterious with all that makeup. It's not bad at all. I'm sure to a young girl you look rather…sexy." Michael ruffled his younger brother's hair in a teasing manner.
"I have no interest in girls." Andy said sitting down in the large armchair in the room. Michael smiled at his brother. They were complete opposites.
"Well then I'm sure a boy will find you appealing." He corrected. Andy played with the silver hoops adorning his lips.
"What happened to sexy?" Andy questioned picking up a mirror to fix his lip rings.
"Sexy, appealing. They're all the same thing really." Michael said putting on white gloves. "Let's go for a ride." He continued. The brothers went down to the stable by the pond. A small boy came up to Michael and waited for directions. This young child was Michael's stable boy. Andy didn't have one. A stable boy was a gift from the father and King Charles didn't like his youngest son very much. Ashamed of his looks and behavior the king treated Andy like he doesn't exist.
"Prepare my hose for me please." Michael said to the young boy. The child ran into a stall and prepared Michael's horse for him.
"Why do you have a stable boy and I don't?" Andy asked bitterly. Andy often was bitter and arrogant, but he usually remained sweet to his brother.
"Because you would treat your stable boy poorly." Michael answered.
"Would not!" Andy spat. His pale complexion became red with anger.
"Calm down. I'll let you use mine." Michael reasoned. He spoiled his brother to almost the point of it being revolting. But Michael enjoyed it that way. He knew Andy didn't get the attention he himself did.
"You're too kind to me. Everyone seems to hate me while you love me. I don't understand you." Andy said looking up into his older brother's deep green eyes. Michael batted his long eyelashes and just laughed.
"What did I do?" Andy asked blinking in interest.
"You amaze me. You are so different and I respect you greatly for that." Michael preached. "You just have this rebellious attitude that I wish I could attain."
"I'm not trying to rebel. I just feel ugly." Andy said looking at his horse that the stable boy prepared by the request of Michael. The two brothers got up on their horses and started to walk side by side.
"You are not ugly. I find you to have many aspects of beauty." Michael said as he began to trot with is horse.
"I'm not as pretty as you Michael." Andy stated trotting alongside his brother.
"Andrew, we are not in a beauty contest. We are brothers! Just because we look different doesn't mean one is better than the other." Michael began to gallop with his horse leaving Andy behind. He grew tired of his younger brother always comparing them against each other. He just wanted to be a good role model for Andy. He didn't want to be better than him. Sadly down in his heart he knew that he was. He was fit to be a king. He was kinder and more open-minded than Andy. But maybe that's just what the kingdom needed; a king who wasn't fit to be a king. Michael slowed his horse to a walk to let Andy catch up.
"I'm sorry. I just get jealous of you sometimes." Andy said heavy heartedly.
"Andy, there is nothing to be jealous of. I live by rules and regulations while you get to be free." Michael said getting off his horse. Andy followed his brother's actions. They walked along the pond while the horses rested.
"When I'm king, I'll make sure everyone treats you like you are king also." Michael stated proudly.
"Why?" Andy snapped. Michael sighed. His brother was quick to speak and not think nor bite his tongue when the time was necessary.
"Because you are my one and only brother. I love you for who you are. Sure you can be a little arrogant and slightly annoying-"
"Hey! Watch it!" Andy defended.
"You know it's true. But when you aren't being bitter to people you are quite sweet. Like right now you are amazing and I'm so proud to have you as a brother." Michael squeezed his brother into a hug. Andy smiled and laughed lightly in his brother's arms. Not in a million years would there be a better person than Michael.
"Shall we go home now? It's getting dark." Andy asked.
"Sure why not." The princes went back home not even aware that the events that were to occur the next day would change their lives forever.
The next day was perfect for the ceremony of Michael's becoming king. The sun was bright and the air cool. Michael stood in front of his mirror studying his clothing.
"You look amazing." Andy said.
"Do you really think so? I think the jacket is too much." Michael said gesturing to the European-styled jacket that molded to his body and frayed out only slightly around his hips and backside.
"I think it makes you look kingly." Andy said walking behind his brother and looking at their appearances in the full-length mirror.
"I don't know. I don't want to look like a vampire." Michael said lightheartedly.
"Vampires aren't as good looking as you." Andy clarified.
"I guess." Michael said looking at his tight brown suede pants.
"You look fine! Now get your shoes on and get to your ceremony!" Andy demanded going for the door to leave the room.
"Andy wait." Michael said watching as his brother turned back around. "Do you think I'll make a good king?" He continued.
"The best." Andy answered hugging his brother.
"I think you'd make a better one." Michael whispered into Andy's ear.
"HAHA! Why? You fit the part. I don't." Andy released his arms from his brother and lay down on the large plush bed.
"I'm envious of you." Michael stated.
"What? Why?" Andy asked flabbergasted. Michael had everything and more. Why was he envious of him?
"You can be human and enjoy being young. I'm only eighteen and I'm going to be in charge of an entire kingdom!" Michael lay down beside his brother and looked up at the tall magnificent ceiling. The ceiling depicted a sunset. The clouds were a pink and orange as the sky was colored reds, pinks, purples, and even light blues. It was a very elaborate ceiling and rather peaceful to the blonde prince when he's having trouble sleeping.
"You can be human too."
"No I can't. I'm not allowed to make mistakes. I have to be perfect. Sometimes I wish I could be you." Michael said taking a deep sigh.
"Sometimes I wish I could be you. Everyone loves you. People are ashamed of me. Even father is ashamed of me." Andy spoke desolately.
"I love you." Michael said standing up and pulling Andy to his feet.
"I love you too." Andy said trying to hold back tears. His brother treated him better than anyone has ever treated him.
"I'll be out in a moment. Go talk to some of the guests." Michael said opening the door for his brother. Andy smiled at his brother and walked out of the room leaving Michael alone.
As everyone was drinking and awaiting the ceremony of their soon-to-be king, a dark figure ran swiftly though the halls. Like a fox this figure crept into Michael's room. Michael turned around and saw the figure. He was wearing all black and a hood that covered all of his head except for his piercing gray eyes.
"What are you doing in here?" Michael demanded but the figure did not answer. Michael got out his sword and took his fighting stance. The figure let out a devilish chuckle and muttered something in elfish.
"So you're an elf then?" Michael stated bravely. "What, come to ruin the ceremony? My kingdom will see to it that every single elf on this planet is killed before the war between our nations is over!" He spoke. The figure jumped gracefully over Michael swinging a long sword at his neck only to be blocked by Michael's sword. Michael's hands felt the impact of the swords and his hands began to burn. He knew this elf wasn't an ordinary elf. The elf looked down at Michael from the bedposts that he perched himself on.
"You're nation will be dead by the time this night is over." The elf said bitterly. Even though his words were harsh the elf had a sweet and pleasant voice. Taking a jump from where he perched himself he took another swing at Michael only grazing his arm. Michael gasped at the sudden pain in his arm and held the wound to stop the bleeding.
"You think you can kill me then?" Michael asked. The elf did not respond. He ran at Michael and before Michael had a chance to move the elf's long sword was lodged into his heart. Michael fell down to the floor coughing and gasping for air. The elf said something in elfish and jumped out the window. Michael lay on the floor waiting for death. He began to cry. He didn't know what was going to happen to Andy or the kingdom.
"Forgive me Andy, for leaving you." He uttered quietly. Michael took one last breath before his life was taken away from him.
"Andy darling, go get your brother. His ceremony is going to start soon." Said Queen Anne. Andy jogged through the halls going to his brother's room.
"Michael! They're going to start without you!" Andy said lightheartedly, unaware of the silent horror that occurred just minutes before. Andy's eyes opened wider than what were thought humanly possible.
"MICHAEL!" Andy screamed. His brother was dead! How could this happen? How was he going to explain this to his parents? He ran back into the ballroom and searched for his mother. He could hardly see because the tears in his eyes fogged the room. He rubbed his eyes and found his mother seated in her place awaiting her now dead son.
"Mother?" He questioned. She turned to him and had a fake smile plastered onto her face.
"Where is your brother? We can't keep all these people waiting." She said irately.
"Uhm, well…" Andy began to cry. His mother turned him away from the people in the room sitting in their places waiting for the prince to become king.
"Andrew, what's wrong?" She asked hurriedly.
"Michael's dead." He muttered quietly. The queen placed her white-gloved hand over her heart and sported a dazed expression on her face.
"How?" She asked sounding as if she was out of breath.
"I don't know. Someone stabbed him." He answered.
"Guards! Go into Michael's room and clean up the mess. Bring his body down to the dining hall. As for the rest of you…" She spoke pointing to five other guards. "Make sure no one leaves this room. If the murderer is still here I want to personally see him killed." She continued. Her face became as red as her elegant dress as the emotions of anger and anguish flowed into her. Andy watched the guards leave the room. He went into the hall where Michael would have come out of when the ceremony would have begun. He leaned against the wall and slid down into a ball. He rested his head against his knees and cried.
"What's going to happen now?" He asked himself watching his dark hair in front of his eyes move to his uneven breathing. "I miss you already Michael."
So, I hope it was a lot better than the original one. And please review.
Oh and read some of Fading Innocence's stuff too. Cause she's good.