Sins

There are times when I think I could hate you
Because you are the only one who can make me feel so low
So bad,
So dirty
So stupid, mean, horrid, bad.
But I still love you,
Because.
I know I should love you better,
I hate myself for that.
I wish I could hate you.
It would be so much easier.
But instead,
I love you.
But I should love you better,
Without the tears,
And the bitterness.
I know I should love you better,
You keep me safe,
You keep me warm,
You keep me clothed.
And to God, I know you love me,
In your own way.
But when I'm hiding,
When I'm crying,
Because I feel your anger.
I think I could hate you.