Cinema

A skinny guy in beard and beanie named James sits in a passenger seat of a white beat up Honda. In the driver seat is a fat guy in a blue parka named Glen. They are sitting outside a large movie theater.

James:
Alright fat man- repeat the plan- repeat the plan- lets hear it one more time.

Glen:
Ah come on goddammit- I know the plan- we know the plan.

James:
Well if you know the fucking plan then you should have no problem-

Glen:
Alright, alright.

James:
One, two, three- go!

Glen:
We pull up front- you jump out- wave the gun around like you're dirty fucking Harry- they give you the cash- you climb back in- we drive off before they realize they've even been fucked.

James:
Perfect.

Glen:
Oh yeah it's fucking Nobel material.

James:
Don't fuck with me- it's great because it's simple.

Glen:
Yeah- it's fucking simple- so simple that it's fucking retarded.

James:
What are you bitching about? You sound like my fucking girlfriend.

Glen:
All I'm saying is-

James:
Hey fuck you man- I worked here for-

Glen:
Three whole months- I know- you must have told me about twenty fucking times.

James:
What I'm saying is that I know the ins and the I know the fucking outs- I know where the keep the money- I know who's got all the important keys-

Glen:
Alright I get it.

James:
I've got a fucking system- I've got the line- I'm on the inside-

Glen:
And right every time.

James:
Fucking A. Every time.

Glen:
I get it.

James:
Good- what's the time?

Glen:
Why the fuck are you asking me? You've got a watch.

James:
Hey man, why can't you just do something when I ask you to do it.

Glen:
First of all I am not a fucking sidekick from one of those heist movies you seem to love so goddamn much-

James:
Hey fuck you- Heat was a good fucking movie.

Glen:
Shut up. Second of all it's six o five- as you can plainly see by the digital dash clock- that one- glowing red right in front of you're stupid fucking face.

James:
You need to cool down fatso- what are you nervous or something?

Glen:
Yeah- I'm nervous- you're making me fucking nervous.

James:
Cool down- it's going to be smooth as fucking peaches.

Inside the theater, Steve a tall guy with slicked back hair stands in the lobby with a tall, pretty brunette girl, Beth.

Steve:
Those two deadbeats have been sitting out there- staring in here- for at least ten fucking minutes.

Beth:
You're paranoid.

Steve:
Fuck that- I'm not paranoid- I'm careful.

Beth:
What? You want me to call the cops and report two losers in our parking lot?

Steve:
How about report two potential fucking deadbeats who watch too many heist movies?

Beth:
You know they won't do anything-

Steve:
Come on Beth- you ever hear of probably cause- that's what we've got here- a case of probable fucking cause.

Beth:
What the hell are you talking about?

Steve:
Look- see the flunkey in the passenger seat?

Beth:
Yeah- so- do you know him?

Steve:
Come on- you don't recognize him?

Beth:
We get a lot of fucking deadbeats here Steve-

Steve:
Yeah- but this guy worked for us.

Beth:
Yeah- we got a lot of fucking deadbeats working for us too.

Steve:
You're telling me you don't recognize that guy?

Beth:
Kind of looks like that kid- God- what's his goddamn name-

Steve:
James- James fucking White.

Beth:
Oh shit-

Steve:
Do you remember when we fired him?

Beth:
Jesus Christ- how could I forget- James fucking White.

Back to James and Glen.

Glen:
How do you get fired from a fucking movie theater anyway?

James:
The guy in the window right there-

Glen:
In the tie- with the slick hair?

James:
Yeah- that guy is named Steve- and Steve is a fucking asshole.

Glen:
What happened?

James:
Well- I took like a week off work- told them that a relative was sick the whole time.

Glen:
So they canned you?

James:
Not right away- but they sure as fuck didn't believe my story.

Glen:
What'd they do?

James:
Well after a week of being back- I went on a lunch break- I was going to leave and get a sandwich or something- and before I left- that fucking guy- Steve- asked me to get him a cup of coffee while I was out- I said sure and he gave me a few bucks for it.

Glen:
Yeah- and?

James:
Well I go up and get my sandwich but I forget about his fucking coffee- so when I get in there he comes up to me and he's all like: 'Where's my coffee?'

Glen:
Heh- ha

James:
So I just tell him they didn't have it at the place I went to- and this asshole mother fucker looks at me and says-

-

Steve:
You're a fucking liar- you're fired.

Beth:
Jesus I still can't believe it- I can't believe you did that.

Steve:
Fuck it. He's a stupid fucking dead beat and he had it coming-

Beth:
You sure that's him- I don't remember him having a beard.

Steve:
Fucking A that's him- you remember what he did- you remember- after I fired his ass?

-

James:
And I fucking flipped- I knocked the poster down for that stupid fucking Adam Sandler movie and told them all to go fuck their mothers.

Glen:
Fuck man- are you sure they won't know it's you?

James:
Well I've got the fucking mask-

Glen:
What about you're voice- you dumb shit- what about you're goddamn voice?

James:
Hey- no problem- I'll disguise it.

Glen:
How- lemme hear it.

James:
OK- 'Take me to the fuckingsafe cocksucker!'

Glen:
Jesus Christ- you sound like Willy fucking Wonka- that shit won't work.

James:
Fucking A it will- they won't recognize shit- alright fatso- it's time.

-

Steve:
Holy fuck- Beth, call the cops- fucking look- he's putting on a fucking mask!

Beth:
Oh fuck- fuck- fuck

Steve:
Use you're cell phone- go in the back- in one of the broom closets.

Beth takes out her cell phone and runs to the back area.

Beth:
Hello- yes- this is Carmike 14 movie theater downtown- we are being robbed- yes- 1421 Hayden street- hurry.

A single gunshot rings out in the distance.

-end?-