Briefly, In Perpetuum
How long have we been watching the centuries fall through our intertwined fingers like handfuls of glittering sand?
Ah, but we widen the gap between our fingers and let them land where they may. These small fragments of time that make up the broken mirror of our lives, of jagged and shattered bone--they have lost their luster, haven't they? They mean nothing to me anymore. The minute reflections they show of the world are shadowed and empty of everything that used to matter.
You lean over and kiss me shyly; I wonder why, after all the days we walked the world in bold defiance, the nights where whispers and sighs were sounds infinitely louder than the burning skies erupting in a devastating hurricane of chaos and despair, you still retain that blush on your cheek. Have I taught you nothing?
But it flees my mind. Sometimes, this is even better. Your kiss is soft as the gentle glow of candlelight when the stars hide from mortal eyes.
You are my candlelight in the world of shadows of the past and present we live in and away from, my salvation. Soft, golden, muted, never fighting off the shrinking seine of darkness around us but keeping it safely at bay, an arm's length away. In the circle of my arms, you are safe.
What does it matter that this love sings the heart-rending melodies and echoes the whispers of pain?
Your eyes seem to glow with the light of the waning moon but it fades away, just as the moon does. For a moment I believe it is your achingly beautiful soul within you shining through your eyes, but only for a moment.
Crystals yet unformed, as beautiful as the night sky but there is never anything soft about a gemstone. I brush my thumb gently across your face.
Would that I could sweep away the sorrow that rules us as easily as I kissed those tears from your eyes. What future do you see with them? For they still dream. Though life has taken away their silken hue of innocence, you still look to tomorrow.
I have long ceased dreaming about the world we live in. For me, there is no future, there are no more dreams--only you, beautiful and ephemeral like a sphere of air rising through the haunting waters of time, vanishing between one moment and the next.
Then it begins anew. Sifting through the sand, endlessly hunting through the horizons of this planet for your constant, sad eyes. Whenever I find you, my entire being exults soaring into the atmosphere like a joyous bird of flight. Yet already I prepare myself for when we must let go and succumb to the shadows. All too soon, my arms would be empty until I found you again and put the burning flame to the wick.
This is our fate, our curse. We are the sun and the moon, forever trailing after each other as the world spins beneath and between us.
Your hands on my face bring me back to this moment and you look up at me with stained-glass eyes. I can see that you feel the same way, but you can still see the sun rising through a rosy sky; not the plummeting grains in an hour glass. The centuries slip past me unnoticed; a current in a river no one sees. But I am forever counting the moments when I am with you, for they fade into memory too quickly.
I never smile to watch the sun rise.
"There are times when the two share the same sky," you whisper. "When they meet for one day and the world is blessed with two eyes from the heavens." Another kiss.
You always know what I am thinking. My hand runs through the stream of your liquid hair. Tonight it is as long and beautiful as it was when we first met, worlds ago.
"One brief part of a day that lasts but a moment, which Time does not notice as it hurtles by," I respond hollowly, and my despair wells up from within like the final breath of a dying warrior. I reach the end of your hair and the night chill strikes into my skin. "Nothing more. And then night falls as morning rises on barren skies."
My lips meet yours once more with a passion that could bind you to me only in dreams--but I have long been done with dreaming. Gazing toward a future of contentment is worthless; our very lives have proven that nothing ever changes for the better. There is the familiar confusion of love and sadness that cuts through my veins whenever we kiss. I never cease longing for you, even when you are wholly mine, as you are now.
We break apart for a breath. "Find me when I'm gone," you whisper, your voice breaking.
We can never be together, you and I. Not in life, not even in death. But the gods relent their fiery wrath in one thing: we never forget.
Perhaps it's a bane, not a blessing. The ages of anguish and love stretch into infinity in our minds and the tendrils of memory reach out to the future, carrying what has come before. You are born waiting for me--no one else--and I will pursue you through time and never settle for another. This bond between us chains our souls to this endless cycle of death, wrenching loss and fleeting happiness.
Sometimes it hurts to touch you, to look upon you. All I can feel is your hand letting go of mine. All I remember is the way your eyes looked abandoned in a pale, empty face.
Yet if this were the only way for us to be together, to live forever but never to look forward to eternity with your hand in mine...
If this was all we ever had to look forward to, it would be enough.
I know this isn't the update everyone wants, but this little story sort of wrote itself with enthusiasm, while the other one requires more in the way of blood, sweat and tears. This is all kind of new to me. It's angst. :O It's is inspired by Journey, the ending theme of Loveless, which I'm not ashamed to say I now adore, even if it does have a few iffy spots. There was just something so sweet and tragic about it that it was irresistible. Maybe one day I'll finish the tale of these two characters in some other huge, impossibly complicated story, but for now, I'm quite happy with this one.