A/N UPDATE!!: This story has been nominated for the TIRO (time is running out) awards. There is a link in my profile! GO VOTE FOR CINDERELLA SO IT ACTUALLY WINS SOMETHING ITS NOMINATED FOR FOR ONCE. Thanks. =D
A/N: The copy of this story on fanfiction dot net has been taken down. All is well. :)
Once upon a time there was a beautiful (you'd better believe it) princess by the name of Sadie (no, I'm not kidding), who lived far, far away in a magical kingdom ruled by an evil sorceress and her dragon. After being held prisoner because of her great beauty, Sadie was rescued by a handsome prince—actually, the prince was about to be eaten by the dragon and Sadie escaped her prison (driven by her passionate love) and kicked the dragon's butt, and they lived happily ever after…
I'd like to start off by saying that my feet are a size eleven. Sometimes twelve, even, depending on the brand.
If you think that Louis Vuitton and Jimmy Choo make many size elevens, you have another think coming.
I like being barefoot better, anyway. Flip flops are annoying enough, but heels, along with being hard to walk in, make me roughly nine feet tall, so you can forget about those. Not that I don't like shoes on other people, because they can be totally cute, they just make me feel so, I don't know… restricted.
Besides, who would wear glass slippers? Can someone say fashion crime?
I know what you're thinking. 'Oh, sigh, yet another poor fool who is anti-love and therefore anti-life,' but I do believe in love. I think. At least, I'm not sworn against it or anything.
But come on. Cinderella? One dance and the guy goes stalking her around the country side?
Snow White? The guy sees her sleeping (insert romantic sigh) and he goes gaga, and fights an evil sorceress and junk.
The little mermaid? She couldn't talk. Did Prince Erik ever stop to consider she might have opinions about running the kingdom or stem cell research or whatever underneath those gorgeous red locks?
Sleeping beauty? The guy kisses her before he sees her eye color. And fights and evil sorceress.
Same with Rapunzel.
Beauty and the beast? What is that supposed to teach us, anyway? That if we love someone, they'll turn beautiful?
Don't even get me started on the Princess and the Pea.
Sure there is romance (I hope), but I am sorry, it's not in fairy tales. Especially the old versions, which I haven't actually read, but would probably like better, since my best friend, Rose, says that I have a morbid streak. In a liking-weird-things way, not in a liking-people-getting-their-heads-chopped-off way, I mean.
So I try not to think about boys. I mean, I am in high school. I have much more important things to think about like, say, my future.
But there's a catch.
I am completely boy crazy.
It's all my hormones fault, is all I have to say. But every time I see a guy do something even remotely chivalrous, like opening a door, I go bonzo. Chivalry is dead, my foot. (Why, yes, pun intended. Sometimes I just can't help my wit from escaping.)
I start daydreaming these wild intricate fairy tale fantasies, except I am a princess who has converted the monarchy into a direct democracy (but, being a princess, can still look totally hot in a ball gown), and Prince Charming only kisses me after we have been out at least twice and have had at least one lengthy intelligent conversation. And he has opened a door for me.
As you can see, my predicament causes me a great deal of inner conflict. So to occupy my thoughts and attempt to distract myself from the male population, I make sure I have no free time. I've joined every club from future teachers of America to the Japanese Anime Club, even though I don't want to be a teacher and most Japanese anime makes me mad, because every single one of the girls is very well endowed in the chest area, which is totally unrealistic.
I would know.
So I just sit there and pretend I know who Haagashaaki is and how Sakura-Ching is able to shoot deadly colorful rays of energy at people out of his palms, and rant about feminism in my head and try not to notice the cute Korean transfer student who is sitting in the corner sketching (most likely something really deep), and slumping his broad shoulders in a brooding way.
When worse comes to worst, I work on my own personal fairy tale, which I titled, Cinderella Never Saw This One Coming, and have been working on for three days now.
All I had was 'once upon a time…' up until today. See, I sort of wanted for the princess to be, you know, me, because I'm just egotistical like that. At first I was going to try and make it totally original, but then I had an even better idea: I was going to combine all of the fairy tales together, but make the better. Romantic.
And if the story turned out good enough, I could, you know, give it a little test run.
How was I supposed to know that it would be the one giving me a test run?
I never thought I would end up actually kissing a frog.
A/N: Oh, yay. A prologue-teaser-introductory-preview-awesome chapter. This was sort of a brain fart story, but I'm really getting into it. I almost have four chapters written already. Dontchya adore all of the fairy tale references? It's going to be completely (well, mostly) not cliche in the fact that I will be combining into one plot as many fairy tales as possible. It will be amazing, I promise.
Now, if you want to see more, I suggest you leave at least a quick review, as to keep me inspired. That would be amazing.
EDIT: If you like this, you should check out my new story, "King of Fools," an actual fairy tale. :D It would be much appreciated, my loves.