It's Not Love

A guy I met,

A potential friend,

I stuck around,

Just following a whim.

I hung around,

Through the ups and downs,

Tried to tell myself,

"It's just for a little while".

Yet I didn't leave,

I just had to know

What was becoming of

Him and his friends.

The more I stayed,

The more it seemed

Like I was falling

Falling in love.

Yet it couldn't be,

How could it be?

I can't love him,

For he doesn't love me.

I told myself,

"He's not my style."

Then why am I

Always sticking around?

I look forward to

Those times where he

Is by my side,

Or at least close by.

One day I saw his eyes.

I thought, "His eyes are so…"

I stopped myself in time,

Tried to turn my thoughts away.

But oh, those eyes,

Those eyes are bright,

Wide, searching for

Knowledge, truth.

Eyes so deep,

Giving a miniscule glimpse

Into his complex life,

His complex mind.

It's a constant struggle,

A struggle between

My mind,

My heart.

A struggle that will continue

To the final moment,

The moment deciding my fate

And the fate of my waking hours.