A/N: I revised this chapter because after reading over it, it just sounded horrible! The flashback seemed rushed and you couldn't tell how close Kadri was with Quinn. Hopefully this is better!
It was snowing outside again. I sat in the window seal and watched as the tiny flakes gently fell to the ground. It was so beautiful but it also made me feel sad and alone.
I used to live with my older brother Quinn. He had to take care of me since our mom and dad died when I was 3 and he was 10. He never told me how they died. I'm not sure if he even knew. I don't have much memory of them anyways. He became a lot like a father to me.
The snow reminds me of him. He used to get excited about it and he would always wake me up to go outside. But as he got older he seemed to change. His eyes lacked the gleam they once held. I didn't think too much of it at the time. I just thought he must have been missing mom and dad.
I remember last year after my 11th birthday it had started to snow. He didn't come into my room to tell me. This time I said something to him.
I quietly knocked on his bedroom door and waited for any kind of response.
"Quinn, are you awake? It's snowing!" I said. I pressed my ear to the door. I couldn't hear anything. "I'm coming in, okay" I said as I pushed the door open.
I stood in the doorway. Quinn was facing away from me looking out the window. He didn't even budge when I came up behind him placing a hand on his shoulder. "Do you want to go outside? It's much better than looking at it from in here." I say softly. For a moment he didn't say anything. He had a sad look in his eyes. I knew something was wrong, but I didn't want to ask him about it. I just patiently waited for an answer.
"Not right now, Kadri. Maybe later." He said. I frowned. I wasn't going to give up. "But you love the snow! Come on, just for a few minutes? I barely see you anymore…can't we just go outside together for a little while?" I was almost begging.
Quinn sighed softly. "Alright" he said. I smiled and grabbed his arm dragging him to the front door.
I opened the door and was greeted by the sight of newly fallen snow. I held onto Quinn's hand and ran out to the front yard.
I released my hold on Quinn's hand and looked up to the sky catching snow flakes on my tongue. He just stood next to me silently admiring the snow. I was happy to see a small smile grace his features.
"It's beautiful isn't it?" I whisper. Quinn slowly nodded. I saw that same sorrowful look in his eyes again.
"Quinn, are you alright?" I ask. He didn't answer me. "Please tell me what's wrong" I said softly.
I didn't understand why he was acting this way. He seemed like an entirely different person. I never saw him during the day anymore. He only came home during the night. But sometimes he would be gone for a couple days, and even months. He never gave me an explanation.
"Why are you so different now?" I say barely above a whisper. Of course he didn't answer me. Not that I was expecting him to anyways.
He seemed so distant even though he was right next to me. I felt the sting of tears behind my eyes. It seemed like we were drifting apart. He used to tell me everything. And now he would never even look at me. I looked down at my feet holding back my tears.
Minutes went by and he still hadn't said anything. I turned to go back inside.
"Kadri…" he said grabbing my arm.
I didn't turn back and I just let him hold my arm. I waited for him to continue.
"You won't understand…" he whispered. I looked down at my feet again, still not turning around. "What I don't understand is why you're acting this way…" I said softly.
Quinn gently pulled my arm turning me around. He placed both hands on my shoulders. Looking at him, he didn't look a day over 15, though he was 18.
"There's…so many things I need to tell you…but they are going to have to wait." He said. His pale blue eyes gleamed in the moonlight. Sadness filled them.
"Why? Why can't you just tell me what's wrong?" I whisper. Quinn's grip tightened on my shoulders. "I can't! You just won't understand!"
"It's you I don't understand! You used to tell me everything! What's wrong with you?!" I shouted.
Quinn let go if my shoulders and we just stood in silence for a moment. "Kadri…I need you to promise me something…" he said.
I stood waiting for him to speak again. Our eyes locked.
"If anything happens to me…leave the house" I was surprised by his words. "What do you mean?" I ask. "Just promise me, okay?" his voice was serious. The most serious I had ever seen him. "What would happen to you?" I felt the tears build up behind my eyes again. The thought of anything happening to him was unbearable.
"Stop asking questions and promise me! Okay?!" he said as he shook me. I began to cry. I couldn't hold back anymore. I looked down so he couldn't see my face. Suddenly I felt his arms pull me into a warm embrace. I wrapped my arms tightly around him and cried into his chest.
"I'm sorry…" he whispered. I calmed down a little. "But…please promise me you'll leave and never come back here…"
I sighed. "Okay…I promise…" I whispered
Just 5 days later my brother was killed. He knew something would happen to him but he didn't tell me. I don't know who would have wanted to kill him. But I kept my promise to him. I left the house and now I am in an orphanage. So now I made a new promise. A promise to myself that I would find the one who killed him and make sure they pay for what they did. Because the moment they took his life they took mine too.
And now when I see the snow I feel many different things. I feel nothing but everything at the same time. Back then I watched it in wonder and happiness. Now I mostly feel emptiness and anger. Emptiness because I know there's nobody else out there for me. Anger because I couldn't do anything to help him and also because he wouldn't tell me anything. He left me behind and I still know nothing. If I want to find the one who killed him I can't stay here at the orphanage. I've decided-
I'm leaving tonight.