And as I hold you, I wonder how you could ever have wanted to kill yourself, how that thought could have run through your mind. How the body my own feels, the one under my hands, wanted to end it's self, to stop breathing and for it's heart to stop beating. For a moment I try to imagine a dead you, cold and limp in my arms, your functions truly ended. It doesn't work, and you turn your head so you can kiss me, then quietly tell me that you love me. I rest silently for a moment, watching your eyes as they stare into mine, and whisper my own love back, following with a long, soft kiss, feeling your lips against mine. And through them, I feel the warmth of your body, how alive and vital you are.