My Story

You know what I love? Clichés. You know what I hate about clichés? They never turn out exactly the way you planned . . .

--

I guess you could say I'm a bit of a nerd. A geek. A smart kid. A freak. I've been called all of them, too. Except I don't quite fit the stereotype. Most geeks don't play sports. Or watch sports on TV. Or slack off on their school work.

I do.

I play volleyball, as well as throw discus and shot put. I've done a number of other sports in my lifetime, too.

And I watch baseball. Obsessively. Especially in October. There is no dragging me away from the TV when playoffs start. I could probably tell you who played whom starting with each of the Division Series and ending in the World Series. Want proof?

The New York Mets versus Los Angeles Dodgers – NLDS, won by the Mets. The St. Louis Cardinals faced the San Diego Padres in the other NLDS. The Cardinals took that one. The legendary New York Yankees won the first game of the ALDS against the Detroit Tigers, then went on to lose three straight. Finally, the Minnesota Twins lost to the Oakland Athletics in the second ALDS.

The A's and Tigers faced off in the ALCS, which Detroit swept in four straight games. The Cardinals and Mets took it to Game 7 of the NLCS, which was won by St. Louis.

Now, Detroit and St. Louis are playing in the World Series, which the Cardinals lead 3-1.

Yes, I am a baseball fanatic and proud of it.

Yeah, and people wonder why I slack off on my schoolwork. Like I said, I'm not the typical geek.

Especially considering who some of my friends are.

I have a good number of girl friends. We talk, and laugh, and email, and hang out, and I'm really close with them. We're kind of . . . I guess insane would be the most apt term to use.

The sad thing is, I get along better with guys. Except for a handful of girls, I've always felt more comfortable around those of the XY-chromosome variety. I think it actually goes back to around grade four. I used to play basketball with a number of really athletic guys at school, and over that time formed a tentative friendship with them. It grew until I was one of the guys.

I loved it.

I felt so comfortable, like I was allowed to let my sports maniac side come through.

Then they started to realize I was girl, and a smart one, at that. That's when the teasing started. It wasn't all that bad, but knowing that some of the guys I had called my friends thought I was a freak because I could do math problems faster than them hurt.

I got over it.

Eventually.

I still talk to the guys I used to play ball with. I'd like to think I'm still friends with some of them.

--

When we finally reached high school a few years ago, and what a year it was.

I actually got along with the guys that had made the previous few years miserable. And they started treating me like a human being. Almost as if they cared.

You see, I've been having this weird health problem for about seven months now, and some of them used the same skills they had used to torture me previously for good. They teased me about the medications I was on and the source of the problem, and actually drew me away from the very real fear I had. I think I'll always be grateful for that.

--

It's senior year now, and it seems to be a year of changes. Firstly, I've had my license for a year, and can drive myself around town. There's a lot of freedom involved, and a lot of responsibility connected with it.

Also, my parents are finally letting me . . .

Date.

Yeah, date. I know a lot of high school relationships turn out to be completely meaningless, which is why I'm not really too concerned about the whole dating-thing. It'll come in it's time.

I've noticed that I seem to be getting into closer relationships with my guy friends. They know more about me now . . . a lot more than most people know. I think the only people that know me better than them are my girl friends.

I'm realizing that my relationships with the guys I know are getting to the point where I could start dating one of them. Key word being "could".

It's just that . . . well, my romantic fantasy has always been to be close friends with the guys I date before I start to date them. Which gives me a lot of candidates, if you think about it.

And I happen to like one of them. A lot.

He's around 6'3", which is a definite bonus. At 6', a tall guy is, well, all the more necessary. Umm, light brown hair, and brown eyes. I guess he has that "boy next-door" thing, which is so much more appealing than some freaky bodybuilder thing. Lean body. I guess trim would be an apt description.

His personality is what really gets to me, though. He has two younger siblings, and he treats them with so much respect and kindness. Plus, he's friends with both of his parents and his older brother. And when all of our friends hang out in a big group, he talks with everyone, not just a select group. He can match my intelligence, and even shows me up some of the time. And he can make me laugh. Really, truly laugh.

His name?

Jackson.

We've known each other for years. Since grade two. And I think we've been friends for that long. According to my friends, we've been dancing around each other for about eight or so years.

And I'm not doing anything about it. I'm a bit of a traditionalist – I want a guy to make the first move. Knowing Jackson, that won't happen any time soon. We've talked about a "hypothetical" situation where two good friends like each other and what we'd each do in that situation. I told him I'd wait on the guy. Like I said, traditionalist.

Jackson . . . well, Jackson said he wouldn't do anything. He'd rather not ruin a good friendship by taking a risk on a potentially better relationship. And I respect that.

So I'm dateless, prospect-less, and waiting on Jackson.

I'll just have to wait and see what happens.

Cliché.