My Near Death Experience With a Pizza Crust

Has your mother ever told you not to talk with food in your mouth? Did you listen? Your mother is right, talking with food in your mouth is a health hazard. This is not the only thing mothers try to prevent you from, they also are constantly telling you not to panic if you are in a stressful situation. Sometimes you just wish you listened to your mom.

It was mid-December. Brittany and I were having a sleepover, without parents or siblings. Brittany's parents and brothers were at the hospital visiting her grandmother who was expected to leave them soon. That is why we decided to have the sleepover at Brittany's.

We set out to grab the normal sleepover necessities; blanket, toothbrush, and clothes. This required a quick trip around the corner to my house.

The night was chilly enough for a light jacket, but despite the weather we took our time, chatting easily about the days events. By the time we were headed back to Brittany's it was about 9:30. I saw the perfect opportunity to scare my uptight friend. I told her an old man was following us and not to look behind for he might attack. I found it very hard not to laugh as she sped up. At the most oppertune momentI grabbed her shoulder causing her to jump and scream.

"Got you!" I said, laughing at her pale face. She was just too easy.

Angrily, she punched in the key-code for her garage. By the time we walked through the door, she too was laughing.

We stood in the kitchen, the tiles warm under our chilled feet. Digiorno pizza sat on the table, tempting us with the intoxicating smell, and warm steam.

As Brittany began a story about how rotten her little brother was, I gave into temptation and grabbed a slice. It was a one-ended conversation; she ranted and I savored the greasy-goodness of the pizza.

"Maybe it was that oldman," I offered as the reason to why her brothers were so weird. She stared blankly at me as I shoved the whole pizza crust into my mouth.

It was almost like a scene from a movie. Brittany and I just burst out laughing at that point, not the smartest thing to do with half-chewed pizza crust in your mouth.

Once we had calmed down, Brittany continued her colorful complaint. It was now that I felt a stinging in the back of my throat. I tried to unclear my throat but that seemed to make it burn worse.

Concerned, Brittany paused and asked, "Would you like some water?"

I gave a weak smile but before I could reply, a cough escaped. After about a minute, Brittany's concern grew.

"Are you okay?"

Once more, I tried to reassure her but no air entered my lungs. Surprisingly, I was merely curious and really didn't care. I tried again but all that came out was a gagging noise. I wrapped my hands around my neck, the signal someone is choking.

Brittany stood still for a moment, watching me gasp for air. "You're turning purpleā€¦" her voice was steady, a sign of her nervousness. "Oh my gosh! You're choking!"

If it weren't for my lack of oxygen, I'd have rolled my eyes. I fell to my knees, my legs no longer able to support me.

"Do you want me to call 911?" Brittany shouted although she was standing feet away. "No, your parents. Should I call your parents?" Her eyes were wide with panic, I could see the tears forming.

I felt helpless, I really wanted to comfort Brittany but I was a bit preoccupied.

"I'm going to preform the Heimlich Maneuvre." Her voice raised another octave in her panic.

This would have learned a laugh, but I was seeing black spots now.

Brittany was tugging on my left arm, trying to get me to stand, her other arm was beating my chest, I'm guessing this was her version of the Heimlich Maneuvre.

I could hear Brittany screaming and sobbing, "Don't die, please! I can't lose my grandma and my best friend! Don't die on my kitchen floor!"

Even as I choked to death, my sarcasm hadn't left me, Fine, I'll roll into the living room.

My heart was pounding, my brain thudded against my skull, Brittany was bruising my chest as she continued to beat on it. My vision blurred as tears sprung into my eyes. A black blob appeared , I knew it was Brittany's dog, sitting to watch the show with curiosity. I haven't hated that black lab more.

What a stupid way to die, I thought, feeling my body go numb.

Whether it was from the adreneline rushing through my veins or common sense had finally set in, but I pushed Brittany's hands off of me and performed the heimlich manuvre, correctly, on myself.

The mess on the floor was quickly cleaned by the dog. After a few deep breaths, I stood and glared at Brittany.

"If I'm dying, remind me to never ask for your help."

My life has been greatly impacted by my very near-death experience. I now speak without food in my mouth. The whole situation could have been avoided if I had not tried to show-off. I think Brittany and I also learned not to panic in important situations. I guess I should start listening to my mother.