The Tale of the Terrible Panda Man


Dedicated to my dear friend Ray, thanks for the suit!
On a chilly autumn day in the midst of October,
I was walking along and thinking life over.
In a short little while, I would be home
Handing out treats to all that would come.
In the final week of this Halloween span,
On the day of all days, when the children can
Dress as they please and fill up their sacks
With candy galore that is strapped to their backs.

But on that day, something terrible befell me;
A horror so horrible that I would still turn and flee!
And who on that day would have thought in the slum
That a sick Panda Guy would escape the asylum?
But it happened, as always, on a frightful night
The man in the suit would kill purely for spite.

As I took my route, the same one as always,
I noticed a figure dressed white and Black.
He had come from behind as his first phase
And I hadn't thought much of behind my back.

Then in an instant, in a frightful rush
A scream pierced the night! Then all was hushed.
I turned around and nothing was there?
That scream, however, gave me a scare.

I picked up the pace,
Terror in my face,
The night was closing in on this place.

I made it home, all in one piece,
But my pounding heart would just not cease.
I forgot the candy, the children be damned,
And turned on the news for a look at the land.
What I had heard was a mountain of trash,
Except one story of a man who was thrashed.
What had caught, though, my attention
Was the asylum descention.

He had lowered himself from a basket at night?
Dressed in a Panda suit that reflected no light?
Wouldn't that make him fade out of sight?

My head snapped back with a terrible crash.
I heard laughing as an egg went smash.
I flew to the door
And then to my horror,
Those rotten brats had emptied their cache!

Again, I settled, ready for all.
Then I drifted out of the fall.
I had started thinking, quite clearly, of him,
The it that had followed me 'til the hour of ten.
Was that the one?
The one who escaped the asylum?

It came to attention, as slow as the dawn
That while I was dreaming the light had all gone.
"Please!" I screamed, "Just be a fuse!"
I fumbled to check with nothing to lose.

I left for the fuse box,
After checking the locks.
Dimly I searched
For where it was perched.
What in the world? The fuse was intact!
Out of all possibilities, did it have to be fact?

Breathing was heard; I remembered the cries
When I turned to a figure with glowing, red eyes.

"Get out of my home," I shouted out loud.
"You aren't real at all! It can't be allowed!"

He stepped towards me slowly, what could I do?
I backed to the wall and told him to shoo.
He did not leave, and I shook in fear
And tried to grab anything near.
I grabbed a torch, and switched it on
And still Panda Man had not gone!

From behind his belly, he took out an axe
My nerves were now pushed to the max.
Was this it? Was this my end?
On the ground, too scared to defend?
The axe's edge had shown a bloody red.
It was most certainly from the man who was dead.

A maniacal laughter came from the man
Who held my life in both of his hands.
I tried to duck and to get up and run,
But even with the suit, he was too fast to outrun.

Somehow he tripped me
And then he penned me.
The flashlight went out
And we struggled about.

During this all, his eyes still had showed red.
I knew from his look that I had something to dread.

"Please, sir!" I begged. "Spare my life!
"You have nothing against me, I've caused you no strife!"

He looked at me dimly, then raised his axe.
I knew with my life, I would pay his tax.
The blade came swiftly, cleaving…

I woke with a start. I had just been dreaming!