I'm so confused. But I guess that's really just part of being a teenager. And really, I shouldn't be complaining. My life is not that bad – it's just…weird. I mean, I'm just kind of mad. Mad at my dad mostly. I know it's not really his fault, but it just seems so easy to blame it on him. Easy to blame it on the fact that he decided to do what he does and that it was his job that made us move to the middle of no where. Really, who knew there was life here – I sure didn't, until we actually moved her. Yeah, that's right, moved – again. What is this? The fifth move to another state/country/continent. I mean really. Not many people move like, twice in their whole lives. I've been torn away from my friends way too many times.
I miss them so much. I had so many close friends. Sierra and I were getting so close. Like almost best friends…which I haven't considered anyone like that, besides Heidi and I've known her for a decade. (Can you believe that?? Ten years!) And now we're on opposite sides of the country. Sure, yeah, we can still be friends. But it's not the same.
I think that's what my parents just don't understand. You always read those kind of goofy stories about the family moving and the kid complains and the parents are like "You'll meet new friends." Yeah, well, that's real life for me. Sure, I've been meeting new friends – but I've also been rejected. I mean, I really don't care, that girl's a bitch, but it still hurt. There's a girl, named Sierra too – like the one back from where I moved. I'd say out of everyone I've met, I'm the closes to her. I'm in one of her classes…which is great, and we're going stopping in two days together. But still, she's not like my other friends, she's not the Sierra I've known for three years. Not that I'm trying to replace that Sierra, but….do you know what I'm saying?
It will take some getting use to. I'm trying not to dwell on moving, 'cause nothing I ever do is going to make this move get undo. I think my biggest fear is that when my dad's contract ends in two years, that the people he works with will decide they don't want to renew his contract again and then we'll have to move again. I think I would scream.
But I guess that's what being a teenager is all about. Difficult times and hardships that you just have to find a way to push threw and pretend to be strong, even if inside you're crying. Even if inside you're dying, slowly and painfully.
Guess that's what I'll just have to do. That's just what I'll have to be – strong and brave. Keep my head up and be alert, 'cause who knows what life will throw at you next. Who knows what's around the next corner?