I can feel my eyes going dry from how long I've been staring at her. Kira fidgets nervously on the park bench under my intense gaze. I can tell how much my reaction means to her, and the wrong thing could destroy what we had…
Maybe I've been avoiding it too long. Her last words play through my mind again and again like a broken record.
We have to tell our parents. We have to tell our parents…
I glance back at her through my lashes. She has an almost hopeless look by now, thinking the worst.
Finally, I give a tiny nod. Barely perceptible. "Ok. I'll do it." Only for you…
It's definitely worth it to see that smile I prize so much break out across her face, and to have her warmth engulf me as she leans in for a quick kiss. I know I've made the right decision.
But inside, my heart gives a painful squeeze, and I start to feel the weight of my words pressing down on me…
The boy only looked to be a year or so older than me. He had curly black hair, a chiseled chin and bright blue eyes. He was dressed rather plainly in a t-shirt and jeans, but still very attractively.
Walking right beside him was the very representation of a blond beach bunny, without the beach. Long golden hair past her shoulders, tanned skin, tight clothes, and a million dollar smile with perfectly straight and white teeth.
All of this was noted just as they walked by our table at the IHOP. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't tear my eyes away from the mezmerizing sight.
Mom looked up when she noticed the way my eyes followed the boy and what was obviously his girlfriend. She smiled. "Sorry, Sioned. That one's good looking, but he's apparently taken!" she joked. I turned back and smiled back slightly. "Don't worry Mom, I'm not interested in boys right now anyway."
Beside her, Dad scoffed. "Oh come on now! You're sixteen, you should have your eye on somebody!" My younger brother snorted into his maple syrup. "She does! She told me she's going out with somebody." Alex said slyly. I glared venomously at him. He just ignored me and whistled innocently.
He didn't know the whole truth. It was only by accident that it had even slipped out a few days ago anyway. That didn't stop me from kicking him under the table. "Ouch!"
Mom perked up when Alex made the statement, and even my other siblings Celia and Will stopped gorging on chocolate pancakes to listen.
I knew Mom and Dad had been getting worried about me, especially in last year. It was pretty normal for girls to have at least one boyfriend by the time they were fourteen, but I'd ever brought one home, or even mentioned someone before. Occasionally I would notice my mother's worried eyes peering at me when she thought I was absorbed in a book, or my Dad would casually point out some random guy and jokingly ask my opinion on his looks.
"Really? What's his name?" Mom questioned excitedly. Dad turned in his chair next to me. "What does he look like? And why didn't you tell us?" It probably came out harsher than he'd intended, protective instincts and all, but it still had me quelled, trying to sink as far as possible into my seat.
'They want answers. I'm not prepared for this. Idontknowwhattodo!'
My mind was in a fluttery panic, running around in circles trying to find a way to avert the disaster.
As I was pried with questions, my own thoughts were in a jumble. I wasn't ready to drop such a huge bombshell, and I couldn't tell them about my supposed boyfriend.
Because she was a girl. A fellow bisexual.
I knew how Alex would react. He was a self admitted homophobe, and wasn't afraid to say it. It would be terrible.
Celia and Will would be okay. At ages twelve and eight, they hadn't developed hardened views on that particular aspect of life.
Dad…I had no idea how he'd react. Ever since I'd accepted myself completely, I'd subtly pried him on his opinions. Somehow, I'd never gotten a straight answer.
Funnily enough, the worst would be Mom. She might be a little shocked, but she'd get over it quickly enough, and tell me it was okay.
But every time I had a friend over to visit, she'd wonder if there was more. Every time we changed in the girl's bathroom at karate, she would watch me to see who I was watching. On girl scout trips, she would keep an unconscious eye on me all the time. …My friends were total enigmas. I knew nothing of their outlooks.
Still, I would have been able to deal with it all.
But I was afraid, and that was a fear that kept me from speaking all through the rest of the meal.
I stared blankly at me blue bedroom wall. I'd been silent the entire ride home, and as soon as we arrived went straight to my room in the basement. I could hear my family faintly through the ceiling getting ready for bed. I knew Mom and Dad were probably in their room right now, discussing my behavior.
I sighed. Inadvertently, my eyes slipped over to a picture frame sitting on my vanity. I was an innocent enough photo, which was the reason it was framed and set on display. It depicted Kira and I on a swing set, holding onto each other's swings and smiling at the camera. Seeing that picture brought the image of her back to me. I remembered her brown eyes glittering with happiness.
I could feel burning tears building, threatening to fall. I knew I had to make a choice.
Between my own petty fears and any kind of continuing relationship with Kira.
I was off my bed and out the door before I even realized it. I took the stairs two at a time and went down the hall. I hesitated at the door for a second, but before I could lose my nerve, I reached forward and knocked.
"Come in." came Mom's quiet voice through the door. I turned the handle and walked in. Dad and Mom were on their waterbed, with the TV tuned in to the news. They looked at me expectantly.
Heart pounding and hands shaking, I took a deep breath.
"Mom, Dad…I've got something to tell you."
I shut the door behind me.
A/N: This story was inspired by the book Trapped!: Cages of Mind and Body. Edited by Lois Duncan. It's a collection of stories by different authors about teens who are all trapped in some way, whether it be mental or physical. I was reading a story about a boy who was deciding how to tell his parents that he and his girlfriend were planning to get married as soon as they graduated from high school, when suddenly the idea for this story came to me.
I myself am bisexual, and only my brother (who I told after I wrote this story) and two of my closest friends know. For my friends who I sent the profile link to...This is my confession.
Sioned- pronounced sh-ned