(Author's Note: This is my NaNovel this year for National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). Updates will be very speedy. Do forgive the incoherentness?)

Unrelenting Memories

By Skyla Moon

Chapter One

I squeezed my eyes against the pain. I didn't want to feel it any more. The pain was everywhere, inside and out, and it was a constant throbbing, never leaving me. I strained half-heartedly against the chains that held my arms behind me around a post and secured them over my head. They wouldn't budge, I knew that. They only made my wrists raw. They had bled at one point.

I shivered as the cold rain pounded on me. It had slowed to a drizzle, but it was no warmer than when it had been a downpour. The day was failing, stealing the last bit of warmth that may have been able to sneak through the clouds. And it would be another night of torture.

I shut my eyes tight as a violent shaking wracked my body. Flashes of color flooded my thoughts and I couldn't remember where I was any more. My mind drifted away and my chin lolled down to my chest as the world faded from view.

-

"Up on your feet," a harsh voice commanded. "Quickly, now!"

I complied, forcing myself to get up for the hundredth time today and I took my stance. Feet shoulder-width apart, hands at the ready, mind focused. My body ached, and I was reluctant to meet the ground again. I would have my fare share of bruises in the morning. I doubted I would be able to get out of bed.

He moved suddenly, faster than I could follow, and his raw power hit me square in the stomach, sending me sprawling on the ground. I gasped, unable to catch my breath. I couldn't do this, I wasn't ready, why had they chosen me?

-

I blinked the rain away from my eyes. The flashes of memories became something I had learned to expect. At first they had only come when they had drawn my own magic out of me to use for their purposes, but now they were uncontrollable, taking over without any sign of warning, leaving my head muddled and uncertain. It couldn't be much longer for me. I had never known anyone to have ever made it this far before.

-

"Isn't this a lovely flower?" I bent down, feeling the sun warm on my back, and gestured to the small bud. It hadn't bloomed yet, but I knew it would soon. It was one of the flowers that was such a rare shade of blue, truly beautiful….

-

I was shivering constantly now, and I doubted it was the rain. There was a fear in the pit of my stomach, a terror overwhelming me. I couldn't deal with this, not any longer.

I felt a hand under my chin, and my eyes focused briefly on Jaidev's face. He was kneeling in the mud beside me, but my gaze soon slipped away from him. I felt a raindrop slide down my cheek and he brushed it away. Was it really a raindrop? Who really knew. I was soaked to the bone, a little more water couldn't hurt.

He placed his hands on each side of my head and I tried to quell the terror that rose up in me each time he did that. I tried to prepare myself for what I knew was going to come, but nothing could ever prepare you for someone trying to rip your life out of you. I screamed. I didn't think I still could, but I did. It felt as if he was trying to rip me apart nerve by nerve. I felt tears roll down my cheeks – this time I knew they were tears – as he pulled my magic out of me by force.

Finally he took his hands away. I knew that it only took him seconds, but to me it felt like an eternity. I retched, trying to bring up the contents of my stomach. They had been brought up hours before; there was nothing left in me to throw back up. My head pounded with the throbbing rhythm of my heart and each nerve in my body did the same as my mind was swept away with my memories.

-

I smiled, feeling it pull the corners of my mouth up. I dipped my hand in the pool of water, watching it ripple with the movements of my fingers. Fascinating….

-

I didn't want to open my eyes. I didn't want to realize that I was still alive, that it would happen all over again. What he took from me always forced me to relive part of my life, but the memories had become so much shorter since he had first started doing it. I wanted him to just kill me already, I wanted to die, to get it over with instead of living this pathetic excuse of a life.

I could still feel the raindrops pounding slowly on my head. I was amazed I could feel anything anymore outside of my own body. The pain was sometimes so great that I wished I could feel nothing inside my own body, but somehow I kept living.

My grip on the world slipped once again and I was thrown back into my own past.

It was light when I was next aware. Aware was an interesting term to use, I was never really "aware" anymore. "Aware" simply meant that I was not consumed in my own memories, but I still had a hard time connecting thoughts or comprehending what was happening. At least the rain had stopped, and for that I was glad. My clothes were still damp and I couldn't stop shivering, but at least the rain had stopped its constant attack on my vulnerable body.

It was still cold. Clouds obscured the sun, but it was not raining.

-

The driving rain soaked me to the skin in seconds. I ran down the muddy path, knowing what I would find, but I had to see it for myself. Huge, dark clouds of smoke billowed from the sky. The village was on fire.

-

I thought my head would explode from these constant shifts between reality and my past. It certainly felt like it was going to.

My breath came in ragged gasps as I tried to quell another onslaught of memories. I knew I could not fight them forever, but I could try. I hated seeing everything all over again.

The first memory that was brutally torn out of me was of the first time I had killed a man. I had remembered everything, from the man's face to the feeling of blood on my hands, to my own emotions that had been whirling inside of me. Some of the memories weren't so painful, but I didn't want to see any of them because there was the chance that I would have to remember what I had tried so hard to forget.

I coughed again, struggling for breath, and this time tasted blood in my mouth. I felt it dribbling down my chin and saw it splatter on my clothes. It hardly mattered, they were beyond salvaging, anyway. It was a wonder that my clothes were as intact as they were.

I felt a soft cloth wipe my chin and blinked, trying to convince my eyes to see one person instead of two. Jaidev's image finally focused, but it was still wavering. It took too much concentration to hold it for long, so I let my eyes slide away from his face.

"Here, drink this," he said, his voice heavy with his Yaeri accent, and I felt a cup press against my lips. "It will help." He tipped the liquid gently into my mouth, and I didn't try to resist. I was far beyond that point, I knew it would do no good anyway. Whatever it was burned its way down my throat, throwing me into another bout of coughing. I felt his hand on my shoulder, reassuring.

"Why?" I croaked when the coughs had finally subsided. I wasn't asking him why it would help.

He gave me no answer, just stood up and walked away, leaving me alone with my personal demons again. I looked after him, but his image slipped away from me.

I wondered what he had given me, but I didn't care to try to puzzle it out. I slipped back into insensitivity.