The sun shone in through the half opened curtains. My head hurt. The night before had been long and full of alcohol. I could still smell it.

I sat up, looking around at the familiar room. It wasn't my own, but I had been in it many a time. I looked to my side and saw him; the man that I couldn't get away from, though I wanted to so badly. I didn't know why I kept going back to him, always for a drunken one night stand. It wasn't that he was a bad guy or anything; he was very kind to me always. There was just something about him that pushed me away.

I had to get out of his apartment; I didn't want to be there when he woke up. That meant I had to be very careful.

I slowly slid out of the bed and pulled my nude body to the floor. I grabbed my pants, which had been aimlessly thrown and had landed on the arm of a chair, and pulled them on. I could hear him twisting around in his bed as I reached for my shirt--I froze. I could see his eyes fluttering open.

"Kayden, where are you going?" he asked, his brown orbs staring at me. He was beautiful, strong arms, perfect stomach, and full pink lips. He was everything that anyone could want, and yet, I was disgusted in myself for ever having been with him.

I pulled my shirt on, despite the pleading that his sleepy eyes were showing me. "I'm going home. Where else would I be going? I can't be here. I'm sorry Seth."

He sat up, his toned muscles flexing with every motion. The sheet still covered his lower half, though I knew well what was beneath. That was gorgeous too, and even though I knew what it looked like and how it felt, my mind still wandered as I saw it's shape through the thin, white sheet. He pushed some of his brown, silken hair from his eyes.

"Please don't go. You don't have to. I can make you breakfast or something. I don't want you to leave." He started to climb from his bed.

I covered my face. "Seth, please. I don't want to be here. I don't want to be here with you. I'm sorry about last night. It shouldn't have happened. I was drunk, just like I was the times before. I have to go."

"But--" His voice cut out. He knew I wasn't going to change my mind, so he accepted it. He always did.

"I'm sorry," I managed to choke out before I stepped out of his room, and eventually out of his apartment. I felt relieved when I exited his building. You see it was never him, he never bothered me. In fact, being in a relationship with him would have been nice. The only thing that was keeping me away was his apartment. It gave me the creeps.


I, of course, had school the next morning. Being in high school for four years allows you to get used to a lot of shit. 'Senior' is what I'm called by people outside of my high school. Fag, queer bait, fairy boy, nut munches, etc is what I'm called in high school. It doesn't help that I have hair that people associate with gay boys: two-toned--blonde in the front, black in the back--emo hair; or that I have my mother's small frame, small nose, and angular jaw. Having my fathers jade eyes and pouf "model" lips doesn't help either. I look very--gay.

I only have a few friends at school. Ashleigh and Ryan are the closest of those friends. Ashleigh is the anime loving, cat ear/tail wearing, gothic-ish teenager, that you love to laugh at. Ryan is… well odd. He's cute; don't get me wrong, but odd nonetheless. His eyes are a pale gray, his hair is jet black with pink stripes in it and he has a large scar from his left eyebrow to his right lower lip (he always reminds me of Squall from Final Fantasy).

Sadly, he's straight, and I'm--well--not. He's cool with chilling with me, and I've even kissed him before! But I value my friendships, what few I have, so I would never do anything to screw them up.

It was a cold, rainy, Thursday morning at Whitmore High; it chilled me too the bone. I love rain, the beautiful misty "lets dance in the rain like the Note Book" kind of rain. Not the "this is fucking disgusting" rain. I couldn't get the chill that Seth's apartment gave me out of my body. I only wish I knew what it was…

Oh how I wanted a boyfriend… damn Seth's fucking apartment. You see I am very superstitious can you blame me? In this world we live in how can you not be?

My attire for this morning was a cute plain white shirt, ripped up the side, held together by safety pins. My jeans were blue, tight, and very… sexy? The rain was a gushy kind of rain; it made my blonde hair stick to my face. Let's just say that for all intensive purposes I looked like the girl from the ring, only in an angelic sense.

"Hey dick head" a familiar voice said from behind me.

"Hey ass wipe" I replied, turning to look at Ryan. We did the "I'll grab your hand, we'll pull into each other, and make a grunt noise while hugging so we look 'straight'" thing. You know that thing that all the guys do? Ryan threw his head back, his hair flying behind him. His pale gray eyes--so intense and beautiful--were staring at me.

"My tail!" I heard Ashleigh's voice from behind me. I turned and smiled at her. She was wearing her usual bondage pants, a full metal alchemist shirt, and a beanie and cat ears on her head. Her "tail" was attached to the back of her pants. And I must say that in all the rain with her ears and tail looking soaked, plus the look on her face, she did look like a cat.

She grabbed her "tail" and rung it out.

"I hate rain" she moaned, beginning to lick her "paw".

"Ash" I said, walking to her.

"Yes?" she replied, turning her cat contact, amber eyes on me.

"Yea, you might not want to lick your… paw," I said. "People get afraid and what-not." I was being nice.

"We should go inside," Ryan said from behind us. I nodded and we walked into school.