A/N - As part of my creative writing course last year we had to write Dwalves. If you don't know a dwalve must be 101 words long (minus the title) and generally regarding a relationship. Or so I'm told. The title belongs to my "dear friend" Joe.


Please leave me alone or I'll kill you in your sleep with a long pointy knife dipped in treacle

When I met her, she took my breath away. But it wasn't until after our first date, when I took her to The Ivy and bought her a bottle of Estee Lauder perfume, that she appeared to feel the same. A few months later we got married. A year after that I invested in a new and upcoming business that seemed bound to succeed. I invested a lot of money in it. A lot. However, soon after it fell through. From then things went from bad to worse. To summarise: I lost everything. And that woman is no longer my wife.

-- Even Gods Dream