To have and to hold.
Sounds so simple and sure
still I feel weak and striped in fear
at the length of my efforts
compared to the shallow shadows
of tangible love in advancement.

If my words are not enough to hold you
and my heart not enough to fully convince you
my arms not enough to draw you to me
then I don't know how to make you mine
don't know how to make all your lovewords
into truth I can touch.

I find it impossible to deny
how completely wordless I am in this fear
battling it down into my ribs and caging its flutter
from its day after day rising up into my throat
I promised patience and to wait
but I am scared that like you
I am not so good at keeping promises
as I am at making them.


(found this not long ago, dated from march of this year.)