River torn

Sometimes the tears help, they say.
Crying relieves something tight within.
But the shaking of everything I'd built
Only burned millions of cutthroat images
Into the back of my flashback eyes.
I didn't know what it was really like
To see out of a clear white-walled room,
With such watery, helpless gasps
As you caused that desperate night.
I'm sure you'd have absolutely loved
That loss of control in my wavering voice,
Bubbles forming in thick stutters on my lips
As I rocked back and forth in the deep.
I didn't forfeit everything in that moment
But I lost you, darling, and it was enough
To bring me to the ground with pale cheeks
And fragile mind set on destruction.