There is a Dead or Alive song playing in my head, and it just won't stop. I lean my forehead against the table and start banging it ever so slightly. I tried singing Row Row Row Your Boat over and over, but You Spin Me Right Round killed it. It always wins, which really sucks when it has been stuck in your mind for the past hour. Hopefully, I can force it out with the pounding. When you are in a dead silent library for study hall, you can do anything, if you are quiet enough. Everyone is too busy sleeping, studying, or fucking off to give a shit about what anyone else is doing. I really doubt anyone has seen, or would even care about, what I am doing.
Damn it, I just realized the head banging has been keeping tempo with the song. I quickly stop the banging and rest my head in my arms, wishing I had a mute button for my mind. No such luck. I need serious help or this song is going to make me even more insane than I already am. Scary, scary thought. I take a peak at my history book. No way, that thing is only going to make the insanity worse. A picture of my history teacher, Mr. Graff, appears in my mind. Except he isn't wearing his usual suit and tie. Oh God, he is dressed just like Pete Burns would have in the 80's. The image is burned into my memory and I quickly resume the head banging. This craziness must end.
I'm just about ready to scream when someone decides to scare the living daylights out of me. That's right, they had the audacity to tap me on the shoulder. It doesn't help that I nearly jumped out of my seat.
"Can I help you?" wow, I am actually capable of formulating words. Words that don't happen to be lyrics... and polite ones to boot. And then I turned slightly to my left, squinting at the sun that is filtering through the windows. I have a secret fear that I am slowly being blinded by the light. I push those thoughts to the side of my brain and slightly gape at the person who has interrupted my unpeaceful study hall. Nathan Burns. That's right, that one kid who sits in the back of the classroom with all his other...friends. You know, the one with the lip ring, tattoos, and crazy clothes. Yeah, that one.
"Are you alright?" his hair falls even more in his face as he tilts his head to the side. He's asking me if I'm okay? Oh wow, I've finally landed myself in that alternate universe. Pretty soon he's going to tell me he's my long lost twin, just watch. Seriously, you should see this guy. He's wearing girl's pants and has that grungy hair that falls diagonally across his face. Just last week some of his friends were caught with cocaine in there backpacks. I mean, where do you even get that shit? Anyways, guilt with association and all that. I give him my best smirk. At least I hope its my best, maybe I should have practiced it in the mirror first.
"I'm fine, thanks." wow, brilliant. Where do I come up with these things? He just sort of nods, like he has to digest the words or something. He finally notices my squinty eyes or realizes he isn't exactly wanted, because he starts to walk away. And then he walks right up to the chair in front of me and sits down. He didn't even ask! I'm facing away from the windows now, but I keep up the squinting, hoping he will catch the hint. Just like a boy, he is oblivious. He swings his feet up onto the table and I stare disdainfully at his converse and lack of manners.
"Oh." he whispers softly as he runs his fingers through his hair. "I thought maybe something was wrong, you know, with the whole smashing your face into the table."
"What can I say? I'm a masochist at heart." I raise my left eyebrow at him as I tell him this. He laughs softly. And shakes his head, his hair brushing his cheeks. God, this guy is obsessed with messing with his hair. Unexpectedly, the volume in my head sky rockets, and the words "You spin me right round baby right round like a record baby right round." start blaring to complete distraction. My hands clap over my ears just as Nathan opens his mouth to say something. His mouth just kind of stays open as he stares at me, shocked. His legs fall off the table and he brings his hands up. I gasp slightly as he tries to pry my hands off my ears. My eyes widen as I realize something. He has got the most gorgeous green eyes that I have ever seen. He's using them to stare at me questioningly. I can't breathe. He is too close and I am being suffocated with an imaginary pillow. This guy must work out or something, because he finally gets my hands off my ears. He's laughing again.
"I wasn't going to say anything that bad." his eyes are laughing and his words sound amused. I whimper because the song is still going. He looks surprised again. There is a fear rising up my throat; what happens if he thinks I just made that sound because I am attracted to him! Oh god, I must set him straight. Before I embarrass myself even more.
"No, no, no." they come out in a rush, like they are all one word. "You don't understand. I have this song stuck in my head. I've been trying to get rid of it for the past half hour or so." and really, it is the truth.
"I hate when that happens. It makes any song so fucking annoying." he whispers, softly brushing his fingertips against the inside of my wrist. I shiver ever so slightly, I never realized how ghostly ticklish it is there. I should tell him to stop. Soon. "But I know a way to get the song out of your head. You just have to be distracted from it long enough, and it will be gone. I promise." oh, like I can really trust him. But I'm desperate enough to think it over.
"Okay, but um, how do I go about this distracting thing?"
"Well, we still have twenty minutes left in study hall, so I think I can help you with it." he's nodding again, except more to himself. His nose just barely scrunches up, in concentration no less. He slowly smiles and takes my hand into his. By Jove, I think he has an idea. I try hard not to concentrate on the whole distracting concept, because I'm not sure if that will ruin it. His fingers are long and warm as he threads them through mine. I want to blush, my fingers are short and my whole hand looks like it came off a ten year old. Its really embarrassing.
He's leaning across the table now, so close that I can smell the cigarette smoke on his clothes. He moves in closer and I turn my ear toward him, expecting some sort of whispered secret. I'm so ready for a cure.
"Come on, Moira, face me." I inhale quickly as I turn my face toward him. It was strange, to hear him say my name, like he had been saying it forever. I took in another deep breath when I realized how close he was. An inch never seemed so small.
"Now what?" I whispered, waiting for the healing to begin. And then his face was moving in, even closer. I gave myself whip lash as I desperately launched myself backwards. What on earth was he doing? Or thinking? Was this guy even capable of thinking? I wasn't dense, I knew what he was going to do.
"You can't do that." I whispered, utterly scandalized. I mean, I barely even knew the guy.
More infuriating laughter bubbled up from his throat. It wasn't until then that I realized the pad of his thumb was brushing soft circles against my cheek.
"Because, you have a lip ring!" I mean seriously, if I were the type of girl to kiss a guy right after talking to him for the first time (which I am not) I still wouldn't kiss him. He has a hunk of metal protruding from his lip! He's laughing again, and I realize I have never been more frustrated with a person in my life. I'm just about ready to step onto my soapbox when he opens his mouth to speak.
"That is probably the funniest thing I've heard all day. Think about it, Moira, how many people in this school alone have lip rings? I'd say at least twenty. Do you think they were all willing to give up kissing just so they could have this thing put on? Seriously, with this, you can have your cake and eat it too." my mouth is formed into an unbelieving 'O'. Then my stomach growls loudly, and I realize I could really go for some cake right now.
"You don't have any cake by chance?" I know I sound really stupid, but I did forget to pack my lunch this morning. I haven't eaten since breakfast which was years ago. There's a look in his eye, like he can't believe he's sitting here, with me. I have no idea if it's a good surprise or not. He gives me a sly smile and moves in for the kill. My lack of food weakened body obviously has lost all ability to react. His lips brush against mine so softly that my brain dies. Seriously, I'm like a vegetable as he keeps up the kiss. That lasts for about a second when it finally registers how incredibly good this feels. I'm not kidding, his mouth is soft and warm and the lip ring keeps brushing in the way, all cold and solid. It makes for a great contrasting feeling. Maybe a little too good.
The tip of his tongue keeps brushing lightly against my lips until I finally give in and barely open my mouth. His tongue pries my lips apart and somehow finds its way inside. I make this weird sound in the back of my throat and I almost pull away, flaming with embarrassment. But he keeps his grip on my face and pulls me closer, just slightly breaking the connection of our lips so he can breathe, ragged little breaths.
"God, you sound amazing." he whispers, and then kisses me again, obviously forgoing air for more of this...whatever this is. His tongue is doing amazing things to the roof of my mouth when I realize something. He has a tongue ring! And somehow, my fogged brain can't quite register disgust. Probably because it feels so good.
I feel like I'm going to black out, and not just because of how amazing this is, but because I really need some air. And soon. I pull back, both of us gasping. His head falling in the spot between my neck and shoulder, every once and awhile nipping at the skin there. As my breathing finally comes under control, reality seems to piece its way back together. Little things suddenly become apparent. Like the fact that I am no longer in my chair. Oh whoa. How could I have gone over the table and into his lap and not even realize it? I start to hyperventilate as I notice that we are in the library, surrounded by a lot of people. People who could obviously see us. People I see every day. And this is Nathan Burns we are talking about. I angrily poke my finger at the tattoo that wraps around his bicep. How foolish could I possibly be? And in the library? I just couldn't get my head around it.
The poking must have gotten his attention because he lifts his head up to look at me. He leans his forehead against mine. His dark brown hair his plastered to my face, now. I can't help but stare back into his eyes, completely and totally mesmerized. Slowly losing my grasp on anger.
"You really are something, you know that?" he whispers, just before flashing one more smile. It sinks in, very slowly and painfully. You Spin Me Right Round has vanished completely from my head. My mouth presses into a deep frown, realizing his method of distracting worked. I feel awkward and stupid, just sitting there on top of him.
"Well, um, thanks for the help." I whisper back, in an attempt to save the shreds of my dignity. At least I could pretend like I knew the whole time he was just trying to get the song out of me.
"The songs gone? That's fucking awesome, I know how crazy that eventually makes you feel." he places his palm directly on top of mine, smiling softly to himself as he sees just how much bigger his fingers are than mine. This is probably a good time to, I don't know, get off of him.
"Okay, well um, I guess I'll know what to do next time this happens." he looks up at me sharply, looking like he has never been more lost.
"You know, I've been thinking about doing this, kissing you, for months." he admits to me. I stare back at him, unable to comprehend that someone like him would think about someone like me. We are complete and total opposites.
"Wait a second, this isn't just about the song thing?" I ask.
"What can I say, I was killing two birds with one stone." cocky and joking all at once, but I still got the reply I wanted. I gained a little bit of my confidence back and wrap my arms around his neck, no longer caring how stupid I'm being or how public the whole situation is. I smile into his neck. I no longer care that I barely know this guy or what repercussions this is bound to cause. Wow, for once in my life I'm actually acting on my crazy ideas. This is so not me, but I still really, really like it. As the song (well, a different one) says "Time can change me, but I can't change time." meaning go with. Or at least, that's what I'm pretending it means for today.
The bell shrieks and causes me to become momentarily deaf. Then the panic sinks in.
"Shit. I'm going to be late." I slide off of him and onto the floor, quickly picking up all of my books. He grabs them from me and offers to walk me to class. I never had him pegged as a gentleman.
"But what about all of your stuff?" I question, slightly confused. He laughs and shakes his head, as if I should no better. He holds up a tattered looking notebook in his right hand– the one not holding my stuff.
"This is it for me" I gape at him. It is glaringly obvious how different we are, and I just barely stops myself from asking him how he does it. School, I mean. I really don't want to know at the moment. The answer would probably set me off into lecture mode. I'll ask later.
We walk through the hallway, just close enough to make people look twice. But I don't mind at all. One of Nathan's friends stops walking just as he passes us. A knowing smile slowly spreads itself across his face. I blush again, just as his friend screams "well aren't you two cute" so that everyone who didn't notice before most definitely did now. Nathan just punches him in the arm and we keep on walking. I realize how weird it will be, when I meet his friends. And weirder yet, when he meets mine. I shake it out of my head. I just want to be, now, and not think about later.
We make it to my English classroomand just before I go in, Nathan stops me.
"Wait, just one second. What was the song that was stuck in your head? Because I think it will just have to be, you know, our song." he wrinkles his nose, obviously not used to being cheesy. And then I laugh, thinking about the song that will eternally be ours.
"You Spin Me Right Round." I answer and he gapes at me. I'm not sure if its from the shock that this is what had been playing in my mind or from the realization that its ours now. You know, romantically or whatever. Then he laughs too.
"God, we are probably the only non-gay couple who has it." he keeps laughing as he kisses me on the cheek and leaves for his own class.
As I sink into the hard plastic of my desk, I realize that no, I am not in an alternate universe and all of that really just happened. I smile as I think that all of this was caused by Dead or Alive. For once, I am glad that I heard that song and I actually hope that I hear it again and again and again.