"Just join! You might end up liking it. It's for your own good." I wanted to laugh in my mother's face when she told me my freshman year to join a club that I loathed the most as a freshman. That club was Mock Trial. Not being a very liberal person, it seemed ridiculous to join clubs in which I had no skills or expertise. Most of all, I did not fit in with the people surrounding me and felt substantial in any work I did. As I went to a few meetings, however, I slowly got hooked. I wanted to learn more about the credit card scandal, which was our case for 2003-2004. I wanted to learn how to pass off for a witness on the stand as someone with credible evidence. I wanted to learn how to stand up and make an objection. All of those skills could not be achieved without hard work, but it also would not have come had I not had the help of the other members and the coaches. One exercise was to practice examinations while eating lunch, in order to create a casual tone of voice.
I was chosen to be a witness that year, which came as a surprise to me. I have a pretty high case of stage fright, so I wondered how I was even selected for anything. Yet there I was, a part of a team. From that point on, the work really started to elevate. Extra practices were called, practically booking the next two months solely for Mock Trial. Finally, competition dawned. The tension heightened for me because, all of the competitions take place in a courtroom. Entering a courtroom for the very first time in life can, at the same time, be pleasing to the eye and arouse fear. Both feelings together didn't exactly give the best sensation in my stomach. Surprisingly, I got better. The more I practiced and the more I observed how others performed, I gained back my confidence little by little.
The highest compliment I've received from those who practiced with me is that, "You keep improving every time you perform." Whenever someone told me that, I felt extremely accomplished inside, though I may not have shown it in my expression. Because I was able to improve my performance in Mock Trial, I do not have the same insecurities around people that I used to when I first started high school. I don't have the strong feeling of being the smallest person in the room whenever I speak during conversations, such as class discussions. Now that I have the confidence to speak, it feels extraordinary to know that I, along with other people, can hear myself talk.
Although I put in so much time and effort into making myself a better speaker, I never received the lawyer position that I've tried to earn for three years. In my most recent audition, I included both voice and emotion as I gave an opening statement for the prosecution, which is something I do not normally do. My time spent, however, wasn't completely wasted. I may not have been selected for a lawyer, despite my efforts, but knowing that I put my whole heart into it made me feel good. Even though I have been given the same role for four years, I feel that I've grown a lot from my experience. I can speak more comfortably in a classroom, to others, and overall, I've learned so much from working with other people in what has become my entire life at high school, Mock Trial.