WHO AM I?

"Who am I? Do I show a face that is me, completely?

What is that feeling I have, the feeling of sometimes not knowing who I am?"

Those questions, they sometimes fill my mind.

And when I ask myself those questions, it's as if

another person inside of me

is answering them.

Another person, that is like a more

reflected,

more mature

and wise

version of

me.

That's how it feels, at least.

Whenever the other person inside of

me,

that seems like it's so

confused

and in need of

guidance,

asks those questions, I feel

unsure

of myself.

The wiser part of me tries answers those

questions.

And I've come to this

conclusion:

The reason why I am sometimes

confused,

and unable to figure out

who I am

completely, is because I

pretended

for years. I created a mask that I could wear for that person.

That person, in need of friends, security, bonds of love.

We were so

different.

So different I had to

pretend

to make him feel that he wasn't

alone.

And after

pretending

for so many

years,

I feel like I sometimes cannot figure out

who I am.

I hated that guy, what he

did,

said,

everything.

I

hated

everything about him, but I wanted to save him.

Save him from being

alone

in this

wretched world.

Same him from this world's worst weapon:

loneliness.

But after pretending for so many years, I feel

totally messed up.

I'm just glad I can write this down,

get it out,

somehow.

If someone reads this,

then I'm

grateful.