How to get me to read your work and review (Or Not)

Okay, so this is probably just going to seem like pettiness and me being pedantic; it's probably a genetic thing. However, if there are any writers out there who would like me to read a piece of theirs here are a few tips on how to get me to at least glance over it (and I usually review what I read).

Please, please, please check your summaries before you post them because ifursummary lookslikethis an isnt spelllt rite then I ain't goona bothr lookn at ur stuff. It's not a text message guys and if your summary looks like that then I'm going to think your whole story is going to be a mess of grammatical and spelling errors. If you bother to use a spell check and read through your posted work then please check your summaries and I won't immediately be put off!

Make your summary, you know, a summary! I don't really get inspired when people only tell me they didn't really know what they were doing when they started to write – make it exciting! 'I just, you know, thought about how I felt on that day and then the characters, like, popped into my head'. Save it for your interviews when your famous or put a footnote or an introduction.

Please don't put 'please r n r' on every piece you submit, everyone wants to be reviewed or you wouldn't have submitted it. I know it's tempting when you've got a piece you really feel passionate about or if you're worried about how it works but it immediately makes me ignore it.

If you don't feel your work doesn't need a summary (especially with poems and stuff) then just don't bother! With a good enough title you should be able to draw people in.

There, I hope that doesn't seem too bitchy. It's my personal preference and opinion but I do get frustrated. I'm perfectly aware that sometimes I break my own rules and that my spelling and grammar isn't always perfect – nobody's is. If it turns out that I'm the only one who feels this way then I'll shut my mouth (and I don't offer to do that very often).