I didn't have long to dwell on my confusion and, oddly enough, embarrassment that rose to the pit of my stomach at what Chase said. Not five minutes after he left I heard a great bang outside the door and what sounded like a cat thrown in a blender. Lovely imagery yes, but that's just how awful a screech it was that fell upon mine ears. Quite honestly I didn't know what to do: should I take a peek outside or try to shimmy out the window?
Well, it was a very high window and I have no upper body strength to speak of, much less to hoist myself up on the window sill! So I took the easy way out of opened the door a crack. The screeching had stopped but now there was something that sounded like…breaking wood.
"What the hell woman? That was my best guitar you smashed on my head! You will pay—"
Now who in the dining had a southern accent? Before I could think properly, I heard a very hysterical woman cry, "Fuck off, you touched my ass!"
"I did not!"
Another voice joined the fray, a girl's voice, this one more familiar, "Don't lie! I saw you grab her butt!"
There was a long silence and the southern voice that reached my ear was more sinister, "Are you calling me a liar, miss?"
The curiosity was eating at my soul. I opened the door and crept into the hallway, where I sidled up against the wall and inched towards the action. I poked my head around the corner only to see the midget from breakfast staring down the bitch from the train!
It was a scene cut from a spaghetti western I'm telling you! All I wanted at that moment was a video camera—hopefully hotel security was getting this footage, this was gold!
And then, in the blink of an eye, the girl jumped the elfish-impersonator with all the grace of a peg legged duck in four inch acrylic heels. The dwarf grunted as he fell to the floor and the woman clocked him in the jaw. Holding his face, he tried to scoot away but his fate was sealed.
With one fluid movement, the lady kicked him in between the legs. I don't think I've ever heard Elvis reach that note. But this midget sang high and clear as a summer's day and I heard a collective groan from the peanut gallery.
"Don't pretend you didn't deserve it." I heard the girl growl softly before stalking off towards the elevators.
After a few minutes of stunned silence, her groupies followed and left the elf in the middle of the crowded lobby. To my surprise, Chase popped out of the mass of people and went up to help the man. With some heaving and good old fashioned elbow grease the CEO had this fellow on his feet and dusting off his sparkly jumpsuit. There was nothing left to see and for once the public didn't have to be told to go about their business. As the crowds thinned, I crept out from behind the corner over to Robby and Mosley.
Apparently my "sneak attack" was too much for them as the second I opened my mouth they were screaming like school girls and hyperventilating to beat the band. The stragglers froze and I felt my face turn beet red as Chase laid eyes on me.
"Would you two act like rational human beings for once? I have a mess on my hands and no one to help me pick up the pieces!" I hissed, careful to act as cool as I wished to be.
The couple looked at me oddly and harrumphed. I smacked my head with my hand and told them to forget it. If no one was going to help me I was going to ring up Cornelia and see if she could rescue me and this disastrous idea of mine. At this point I could care less that she would probably go squealing to Valentin, one of the last people I wanted to acknowledge my failure, after helping me but I was stopped by a rough hand around my elbow.
I turned and saw Chase gazing coolly ahead with the midget at his side.
"Belinda and Ginger realized they were late to a rally and asked me to send their regrets. But after talking to Elweiss here, I think you deserve some down time. What do you say, are you up for a show?"
I looked from Chase to the dwarf (Elweiss? Honestly…) and then to my goons. They were clearly nonplussed but I wasn't so sure about this proposition, "What show is on at two thirteen in the afternoon?"
Before Chase could answer, Dawn shot me a wintery smile, "Only the best kind, Eira. But don't let me spoil the surprise…"
Now I really didn't like the idea of that. If Dawn was on board, I had no business going along for the ride. When I said as much, the five just laughed and insisted that I would have the time of my life. Elweiss insisted that it's the kind of Megas experience that big business tried to stomp out and that I should be jumping at the chance to go on a tour with a native showman. Mosley and Robby were sold on that and Dawn just kept staring at me with her beady old eyes, just daring me to chicken out of the date. But it was Chase's appeal that kicked me over the edge.
His hand slipped from my elbow to my hand, which he kissed and smiled most angelically, "For me, Darling? Please?"
How was I supposed to weasel my way out of that?
There were no words to describe my ire as I slid into the back seat Chase's golden limousine with our charming entourage. Dawn dove into the mini bar and my agent made a show of whispering loudly to his partner across from him. Elweiss sat up front to direct the chauffer, leaving me to share a seat with my lovely affianced. We didn't say a word as we drove into what was, without a doubt, one of the seedier neighborhoods of the Mega Sin City…