Sleeping Beauty Reeeeeeeeeee-miiiiiiiix!

Cast:

Narrator: He narrates this whole silliness

King: His dad was the King, too. What a coincidence!

Queen: King's wife. Wears frilly dresses

Witch: Rather an unpleasant dame.

Sleeping Beauty: Everyone's favorite pretty narcoleptic.

Prince: Also pretty. Not a narcoleptic, though.

Props: Pineapple, thrones, baby doll, Royal Breath Spray, table, fruit in a bowl, cut-up pineapple on plate

Setting: A castle

The narrator appears on the empty stage Narrator: Once upon a time, there was a King and a Queen… (King and Queen enter)…who had a beautiful baby girl named Sleeping Beauty. (Baby doll is thrown from the wings to the queen) King and Queen: Awww…

(A witch steps onto the stage, preferably accompanied by a puff of smoke.)

Witch: Hahahahahahahaaaaaaa!

Queen: (Surprised) Woah!

King: What do you want?

Witch: I'm not sure yet. I just felt like stirring up some trouble.

Queen: What type of trouble, Witch?

Witch: (Pointing finger) Don't you dare call me a witch, you never know if I might do something bad!

Queen: Really? Like what?

Witch: Well, I'm going to be sure that when your precious girl pricks her finger on a pineapple –

King: Pineapple?

Witch: Yes, a pineapple! She'll fall into a deep sleep…forever!

King and Queen:…….?

Witch: Forever! Ahaha haahaaaaa haha haaha heeehee…(Witch leaves the stage. King and Queen exit and soon return with cut-up pineapple as Narrator speaks.)

Narrator: Years later, Sleeping Beauty had become a very beautiful princess, but she was always hungry for pineapple. It was the strangest thing. But the King and Queen were very smart: they would cut up the pineapple for Sleeping Beauty, leaving no prickly points for her to prick her finger on.

(King and Queen offer Sleeping Beauty pineapple)

Sleeping Beauty: Thanks, Mom! Thanks, Dad!

King and Queen: You're welcome!

(King and Queen exit)

Narrator: But one day, when the King and Queen were not in the castle, Sleeping Beauty got another craving for pineapple. (She enters)

Sleeping Beauty: Oh, I am so hungry. When are Mother and Father going to be home? Oh well, I guess I'll just have to cut up this pineapple myself. (Sleeping Beauty takes out pineapple, but before she can cut it, she cries "OW!" and falls to the floor, snoring.)

Witch: (popping into the scene) Aha, ahaha heehe hoo hoo haaaaa!

(King and Queen enter)

King and Queen: Oh no!

(Prince enters)

Prince: OK, who needs a handsome prince?

King and Queen: We do!

King: Can you help us? (They make sad faces at prince.)

Prince: Of course. I'm a specialist at saving princesses. Lay out the plan, Narrator!

Narrator: The plan is simple…Just kiss her!

Prince: Kiss her? Eeeeeewwwwwwwwww…

King and Queen: Please!

Prince: But I don't want to. Yucko, blah!

Narrator: If you don't you're out of the story

Prince: Well, that's not good…OK, I'll do it. After all, I am blessed with royal charm and perfect teeth. (Prince goes up to Sleeping Beauty and makes loud smacking noises while Narrator addresses audience)
Narrator: I hope this works, folks!

(In background, we hear Sleeping Beauty)

Sleeping Beauty: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwww, gross!

(Narrator steps away from audience while Sleeping Beauty wipes off her lips)

Sleeping Beauty: That was the worst kiss ever! Blah! P.U., what stinky, awful, terrible breath!

Prince: Humph! I've never been so royally insulted!

Sleeping Beauty: Thanks for saving my life anyhow. (She bats her eyes and smiles cutely. Prince rolls his eyes.)

Queen: Prince, how would you like to marry my daughter?

Sleeping Beauty: MOM! I like to know someone first before I consider marriage!

Prince: Me too, your majesty!

Narrator: In the meantime, may I suggest the handsome prince try some Royal Breath Spray? (Prince uses breath spray with twinkle in his eyes)

Prince: Why, thank you, one and all. Um, it's Wintergreen. Care to try it? (Witch enters)

Witch: I'd love to! Weehaha ha heee! (Witch exits, Prince chases her off, drawing his sword and shouting "Die, fiend! Haaaaa!")

Narrator: What a charming guy! (They all try the breath spray and laugh merrily)

The End