Sweet nothingness

The bliss of sleep

So many days

Of feeling so weak

Holding on

Even with no life

Even though you have

I was hoping you might


I was hoping you might not be gone

I was hoping you might still be here

I was hoping the gunshot

Was only a dillution of my fear

I was hoping you might still love us

That you hadn't left us

That I knew you as a man

And not just the boy that you were


I could've known you

We could have been close

But then you decided

That you had to go

Before I could tell you

I loved you again

You my playmate

My family, my friend


I was hoping to see

That crooked smile

When I walked through that door

And down that long aisle

And I was hoping that box

Was just a small bed

On which, for a moment

You decided to lay your head