Disclaimer: I do not own the lyrics Until The Day I die by the artist Story of the Year... Unfortunately. As the song ROXES!!

Until The Day I Die

Until the day I die
I'll spill my heart for you, for you
Until the day I die
I'll spill my heart for you

Rai sat, curled up to her pillow, upon her fold-out sofa. The song replayed a thousand times both inside her head and on her stereo, "What a wicked game you play, to make me feel this way. What a wicked thing you do, to make me dream of you…" How cruel Ville Valo could be, to re-make such a song and worst of all, to place it on the CD that her ex happened to favor.

As years go by
I race the clock with you
But if you died right now
You know that I'd die to
I'd die too

Her thoughts flew back to the days when she was happy; and in love. Hand-in-hand they laughed and wandered around the big shopping centres, scaring the public with their lesbianism. The smile on her lovers face was so warm and delightful to see, it caused her in turn to smile as they proceeded to skip through the crowds of people before she was pulled to a halt, turned and then kissed.

You remind me of the times
When I knew who I was (I was)
But still the second hand will catch us
Like it always does

She allowed her grey-blue eyes to fall closed with the memory. She could almost feel 'her' lips pressed against her own full, rose pink ones. It still made her heart sing. She was torn from her reverie by the screeching sound of her alarm telling her to wake up and get ready for school, though she had not really slept. She did not really wish to attend school today, the promise of seeing her love – though usually a great pleasure and something she looked forward to – seemed to break her heart this particular morning.

We'll make the same mistakes
I'll take the fall for you
I hope you need this now
Cause I know I still do

More memories flooded her head, these ones not so happy. She had been here before but not so badly. Her girl and her had been on and off now for the better part of three years. They had, had their disagreements and taken time apart, but none had amounted to this before – it had never felt so painful – she had never been in this much pain that she could ever recall. And yet she still longed to be held tightly in her arms, to feel loved and happy again, to know what it was like to feel free in a constant daydream.

Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you

She rose from the bed for the first time since Friday afternoon, when those words had reached her ears and shattered her world, those three words, the other ones… "We are over." The echo that she wished would end.
Why did she still feel such a passionate love towards the woman that had broken her heart so horridly? Though she felt such tremendous heartache, she knew that, if asked, she would still slave herself to the older girl. It was her love towards her, it would never cease.

Should I bite my tongue?
Until blood soaks my shirt
We'll never fall apart
Tell me why this hurts so much
My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
But still we'll say, "remember when"
Just like we always do
Just like we always do

The pain sunk in another layer and the tears began to fall as she let her clothes fall lightly to the floor and the water in the shower began to run. She stepped under the water and turned the cold off as though to punish herself for a brief moment – though it seemed like forever - as the scolding water rushed over her reddening skin. "You shouldn't love…" She whispered to herself. "I hate you…" She tried to tell herself. She wanted to hate her - wanted to forget her - but no matter how hard she tried the memories were there, embedded inside her mind to stay.

Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Yeah I'd spill my heart!!!
Yeah I'd spill my heart for you!!!

Rai took a deep breath and the inhaled air rushed from her lungs and a scream erupted from her gaping mouth. Her heavy, black lashes seemed to merge with the force she had applied to clenching her eyes shut. The intensity of the emotions within her could not escape fast enough as she smashed her fist against the bathroom wall, cracking one of the looser tiles only slightly. She wanted to hate, she wanted to hate!!

My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
We made the same mistakes
Mistakes like friends do

The shower curtain pulled free of its clasps with a little help as she threw it to the floor. Her waist length, red-brown hair clung to her body in streams as she stepped from the tub, still sopping wet. Without a towel she walked out through the hallway and back into the lounge room. Flipping the blankets from the bed and tossing the pillows, she found that she still could not vent fast enough. It was worse now. It was like trying to cause a massive flood by pushing the water through a pin hole, it just did not work.

My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
We made the same mistakes
(Made the same mistakes)

"What a wicked game-" The stereo hushed abruptly as the little painted rock 'she' had made collided hard with its main body. She gathered all the presents – the stuffed teddies, the Derwent pencils, the lovey-dovey love letters, the drawings, even the CDs, DVDs and ordainments and clothes – they all went into the bath tub as she found the petrol to the lawnmower in the laundry and poured in onto the pile of soon-to-be-ex-belongings and sought out her matches.

Until the day I die
I'll spill my heart for you, for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you, for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
Until the day I die!!!

"All that I am and all that I ever was is burning with you tonight, my love." She whispered with the tears as she scraped the match along the box and dropped it to the drenched mound at her feet. Time seemed to slow itself to the point where a second became eternity until the small, burning stick hit the fumes and ignited.

Rai stood in defiance as the room began to flicker with the luminous warmth. She quickly dropped to her knees while clutching the remainder of the highly flammable substance and clenched her eyes tight and gritted her teeth as the pain ebbed through her body, licking at her arms, legs and face. She loved the woman and could not bare the thought of longing to hate her anymore. Alone in the bathroom of her mother's house her short, un-eventful legacy died… Along with her memories.