The Cole Turns To Ash


16-year-old Cole is sarcastic, apathetic, pessimistic, and just well...a lump of coal. The complete opposite of one Ashton Matthews...

I hate apples.

I hate how they just scream GERMS at you.

Especially, when you're in the supermarket and they're in that pile ontop of eachother like they're having a fucking fruit orgy and people touch them with hands full of uncleanliness. They're disgusting. As is all touchable fruit. Everything should be in a can. You know what I also hate? Saturdays. Saturday is the day that I have to go to the supermarket to buy the germ-filled fruit for my workaholic Aunt and her bitch. Half German Shepherd, half dinosaur bitch. But, back to the fruit for a minute, you know how AIDs started? Some asshole from another country brought an apple on a plane. He shoves this apple into his pocket and it's on the plane so germs are everywhee and they all go to the apple. It's like there's a sign above the apple, "PARTY AT MY PLACE!!!". Colds and flus and weird diseases copulating on the fleshy fruit. He gets off in Austin, Texas and BAM. AIDs to your fucking door. It's communism with the mask of anarchy. It's a revolution of fruit and they're out to fucking get you. One bite at a time.

So, hi. I'm Cole.


I live in a two-story apartment with my Aunt. She's a lawyer and I, unfortunately, have to live with her. She's the type of person that jogs to Jamba Juice to get the Carribean Peanut Butter Power Booster with her pager in her bra and cellphone taped to her hand. She has absolutely no life outside of work. Although, she's been married 5 times. First to an activist that got blown up or rather blew himself up when he strapped himself to a Hospital in protest of abortion. I'm glad I don't remember him. He sounded like a complete fucking asshole. Second husband was a lawyer, her boss to be exact, his anger management problem could rival that of Hitler's. If he isn't dead by now he's giving someone a heartattack.

Third was a pilot from South Africa. He's the man that brought AIDs to Austin aka where I live. Why do I say AIDs? Well, her fourth husband was the pilot's bestfriend. He and my lovely, oh so lovely, Aunt Taylor were constaly fighting. Something about pilots, death, and terrorism. Anyways, she broke up with the pilot and went for the broke painter bestfriend of the pilot. Well, now, it happens that the painter and the pilot had been fucking like bunnies for years. And the painter got AIDs from the pilot that the pilot got from some homeless child in Africa. The painter spent his last years on earth crying about his problem Ohhhh I have AIDs, woe is me, woe is me. My life is overrr boohoohoo whine whine whine. He eventually died and everyone rejoiced. Thank God. It turns out, though, that the pilot died from a terrorism attack. Hmmm.. something to think about. Anyways, the fiftth guy wasn't so dramatic as the rest. He just drank a lot and beat her up.

To make up for my Aunt's lack of love and children in her life she got a Dinosaur. Makes sense.

Why do I live with my Aunt you ask? My Mom stabbed my Dad to death because he was fucking his secretary. She was so overcome with guilt after she did it she jumped out a window. Makes sense.


So here I am. In the elevator contemplating if I should touch the dirty keys or not. I decide not to and get out of the elevator, deciding on the stairs. Jogging up the stairs with my big bag of AIDs. While I'm jogging up the stairs I see the daughter of my neighbor who's a total slut. We go to the same school and I can honestly tell you that she's fucked pretty much everybody. She's trying to make those googly shy eyes at me like I don't know she's a slut. I, of course, flip her off and run a little faster. Scared that she'll chase me and tackle me. Force herself on my dick. I hear a little WHA or HUH or some vocal sound that people make when they're dissapointed. I escape the evil clutches of the demonic witch by running a bit faster and arrive at that big grey door with a big red 5 on it. I push it open with my clothed elbow so as to not get more germs. I think I've had enough encounters of the bacterial kind today. I walk a little bit down... too much description? Yeah, I know. Okay. I'm standing infront of 619 not sure if I want to open it. I mean... there's a fucking Dinosaur inside. Goddamnit. I put my key in and I hear a little ruff or dry cough. I'm not sure. I think it's the Dinosaur. I turn it a bit and there's more RUFF RUFFs. I open it really quickly and grab some AIDs and attack the prehistoric creature. She runs away and winces and yeah. I'm safe.

Home Sweet Fucking Home.

There's a little yellow post-it on the counter it has letters scribbled obviously in a hurry. Oh, the usual.

Work late. Gotta go. Pizza in the fridge. Feed Zoe.


Home Sweet Fucking Home.


The alarm wakes me and I jump up in a sea of fabric. I have absolutely no circulation whatsoever so I tend to sleep with a lot of blankets and stuff. Four blankets, two covers, and a sheet of course. It's Sunday and I'm in no mood to wake up so to prove my point I throw the monster glaring 9:30 with it's red eyes at the wall. I curse and turn around. Only to feel 100 pounds of Dinosaur jump up on me. She must have heard noise and came running. Fucking animal. Fuck you, Zoe. She ruffs at me and gets off the bed. I swear to God the whole apartment building rumbles when she walks. Or moves, breathes even. I hide under the covers and I keep hearing tiny ruffs. I suppose I have to go walk the damn animal. What a bitch. She needs to grow thumbs and walk on two feet.

I yawn and walk around my room. There's not much in it. A bed, a dresser with a mirror right across from the bed, a chair next to the door right across from the TV next to the window. The colors are pretty dull. The walls are that normal white that apartments give because they suck. And, well, all of my covers and blankets are a shade of purple and there's a purple curtain. That's about it. I glance at the mirror and sneer a bit. I don't think I'm attractive. But lots of people do for some reason. I'm sticking to the fact that everyone's blind. My hair's raven black and messy at all times. I like it that way. It falls in my face, in front of my eyes and falls a bit past my ears. I have seafoam green eyes that look light blue in the right light. They're framed by lots and lots of eyelashes. My only feature that I like. My nose is a bit long. People say it's cute but they can go fuck themselves. A Roman nose isn't exactly it but it's the first word that comes to mind. When describing my nose of course. I'm a bit pale but not sickly pale just...pale pale. I'm not skinny but I'm reasonably skinny. Some say I'm too skinny but they, again, can go fuck themselves. A swimmer's body isn't exactly me but it's the first word that comes to mind. I hear some more ruffs and I grumble while throwing on some jeans and a white shirt.

I'm walking the bitch and just looking around. I get nervous around lots of people so you can guess that parks aren't exactly my favorite place to be. I take a bite out of my toast that I grabbed right before leaving the apartment and look away quickly from the middle-aged couple that walks by. Friendly smiles make me nervous. There's a bunch of joggers and kids. People walking their dogs. Nothing important or interesting. Just life. Although, there's this pretty hot guy to my left with his shirt off. He's throwing a frisbee to his dog and his muscles kinda clench in and out when he runs. He looks somewhat familiar with his wavy blonde hair and creamy, oh so creamy, skin I just want to li-... okay okay. Cole think about something else. The bitch goes to sniff other dogs and I chill on some random bench. Closing my eyes so as to not look at Mr. Sex On Legs. Okay. Think about yesterday. Well, yesterday was pretty uneventful. I watched some TV, ate pizza, took a shower. I'd like to take a shower with that guy. Fuck. Fucckkkk. Okay. Don't open your eyes. Don't. I just have to take a fucking peak. Have to. It's like an addiction.

I open my eyes and he's scratching his dog's head. Smiling down at him like he's the most important thing in the world. And it's dare I say... kinda... cute. Oh fuck. I'm insane. I said cute. I close my eyes again and repeat to myself. You're anti-social. You hate the world. People are assholes. People are assholes. People are assholes. People are assholes. I unwillingly open my eyes and OH SHIT OH SHITTTT! He's smiling at me, walking towards me. Don't look. Don't loookkk. No eye contact. NONE.

"Hey, aren't you Cole Dillinger?"

"Um... yeah. Yeah, I am." I say looking at the trees on the other side of Mr. Sex.

"You don't remember me?"

"Uh.. no, you look kinda familiar. I guess." Trees are interesting. Trees are interesting. Trees are interesting.

"It's me. Ashton Matthews. We go to the same school!"

Oh Jesus no. Not Mr. Popular. Mr. Savior of the entire St. Mary's Catholic School. Christ. Damn him being so hot.

"Oh. Yeah. Hi. Forgot y'know..end of Summer...yeah."

"Mmhmm. So... what classes are you taking?" His voice has that sickeningly sweet tone that just makes you want to get to know him and and and fuc-...

Nope. None of that.

Goddamn you Zoe. Where the fuck are you?

"Uh... stuff. Y'know..classes." I reply.

"Uh-huh." I think he nods. "Are the trees interesting?"

"Yeah..yeah. I guess."

He chuckles a bit. It sounds like sex.

"Good luck with that then."

"Yeah...I will. Yeah."

He chuckles some more.

"Okay, okay. I'll leave now. I can tell I'm not wanted. See you at school."

I wait a few minutes to lick I mean... look and my sight is fucking gorgeous. I get a great view of his ass and his sexilicious creamy back skin and neck and Christ. I'm hard and school tomorrow is gonna be a bitch.


A/N: My first story. I don't like the first chapter. So...yeah. Well, peace out mah homiez.

- Naked Penguin Fetus