i put on the water and squeezed
between the two porcelain wall-
s of the tub with a book about h-
ollywood in my fingers. i was g-
oing there you know. very soon.
my legs were crossed like budd-
ha and i was leaning forward, b-
obbing like a yellow ducky from
the good ole days, and i glanced
down at my nipple: the end of a
tit. somewhere from flat chest f-
ive year old boy to manhood my
chest had become a haven for f-
at. i got very sick. maybe about
to lose my food, so i stepped o-
ut, drenching the bookmark. w-
hat a waste of water, i pulled t-
he plug. someday all the water
would be gone. but i don't thi-
nk it will matter. the human b-
ody evolves. we will live off o-
f beer and soda, maybe orang-
e juice, but mostly beer and w-
hiskey. i looked in the mirror
as i itched my back with the t-
owel. in africa fat women are
considered beautiful. why was
there not a place where fat m-
were worshipped. if there we-
re, i don't know if i'd like it,
because it would be full of o-
ther fat people and if there's
one thing i can't stand it is o-
ther fat people. i went to the
doctor and asked him why i
have breasts and he asked m-
e if i sit down when i piss. a-
nd i said, sometimes. he told
me that i was telling my bo-
dy that i was a woman, and
that soon i would begin a m-
instrel cycle and my penis w-
ould become a vagina. he sa-
id i should start pissing stan-
ding up. evolution is our on-
ly hope.