Chapter One

Wait Until You See Me Now

Warm summer air licked at Maria Rodriguez's face as she jumped from her position on hale bale, Paul Torrentio had called her name and was now waving at her to come over. As she walked towards him Maria noted the fact that Paul looked a bit red, but determined. It was obvious he was looking for something and apparently was hoping she could provide it. Out of nervousness Maria cracked her knuckles and continued to twiddle her fingers when she addressed him.

"Hello Paul, why'd you scream at me?"

"Come here." Paul grabbed Maria by the waist and pulled her down to the blanket he was sitting on. Around them their friends were lighting sparklers and drinking sparkling cider since they were far to naïve to consider stealing wine from their parents just yet. Innocence still coursed through their veins as they tumbled upon one another and shouted, barely any of them noticing that Paul was no longer laying alone. Only one girl noticed, Kiki, who was Maria's closet friend, a subtle smile graced her lips as she tackled someone to the ground.

"Paul you're such an idiot, sitting here in the cold and calling me over for apparently nothing. I'm not a child you know, I know that you're up to something. So let's hear it, why am I here?" With her fourteen year old short attention span Maria was hardly prepared for the silence that started between them. She needed movement, she needed talking and she wasn't about to just sit here and do nothing. Instead, she leaned over and kissed him, the second his lips hit hers it was all over for her. There was no going back from that moment, she'd always had a problem with self control and wanting more and more and kissing was only the beginning.

Even though she instantly jumped up from the blanket, knowing that her kiss was all that he'd wanted all along, Maria couldn't help but smiling. First kisses were thought to be magical and cherished, but as she got up Maria realized what a joke that was. A kiss is only what you make it and Maria knew that kissing would only be a big deal the second she gave a boy too much power in her life. But this realization was merely fleeting as five seconds later she was tumbling in the grass with Kiki, completely forgetting that this moment did change her life, just on a small scale.

Three years later on Maria's seventeenth birthday she stumbled upon a cross road, the boy she had just invited in and was now sitting up against her could either be her new boyfriend or her first one night stand. She contemplated the decision without really considering who he was, she was thinking only of the story she wanted to tell about her seventeenth birthday. Wouldn't her friends be jealous if she was the first one to take the next step after making out? Without another thought she reached over and practically tumbled on top of the boy, ripping off his shirt and rubbing her hands over the crotch of his pants, teasing him with what he was uncertain she would do. But she had decided that she was going to do this and she was going to pretend to enjoy it if she didn't. That's what teenagers did, right? They were supposed to want sex.

Maria kept that in mind as she undid the boy's pants and took one last look around the darkened room to double check the house was still quiet and her parents still out. Without resistance from him she took his member in her hands and did exactly what she thought the boy would've done alone in his bedroom in deep need of sexual release. Based off the fact he was moaning and reaching for her pants she decided she must be doing something good. His fingers slightly jerkily undid her pants and she kissed him feverishly as he entered her with two fingers. It hurt, but she thought it was better than doing it herself, she relished in the fact he was getting harder as he touched her. She slipped off her pants and thong underwear all the way and climbed on top of his naked body with her own. She wasn't going to have sex with him, but she wanted to mimic the feeling as they continued to make out. As they continued to make out they went back to the touching, the feverish exploring of each other's bodies until he came. She let go of him and handed him a towel from her bathroom, smiling at him.

"That was awesome, thanks."

"No thank you," the boy leaned over and gave her a kiss goodnight before she led him out of her house and watched him drive away. It wasn't until he never called her and didn't say hi to her at school did she realize that maybe she'd made a mistake.

The glow of moonlight bathed her as she sat on her window seat at nearly two o'clock in the morning. Just the thought of him touching her made her shudder as even more tears cascaded down her face. She had been tempted before to confront him or reach out to her parents but she knew this was all about being a teenager. She had to learn from her mistakes and keep on the face she'd become accustom to, she was the slut of the group and she pretended to be happy about it.