written for a friend of mine, kind of commissioned i guess, so it's not quite like my normal stuff... s' rather old ...september '04 but i'm cleaning out my old notebooks, looking for one poem and stumbling across others


My Head, Her Thoughts

Looking into her eyes

How do I know,

What she's thinking

At this moment,

Right now,

The boy in the hall

Who makes her

Knees

Weak. (hmmm…now he's my kind of man…)

:condense fact from the vapor of nuance:

I hear her voice

before my own

Inside my head (get out!)

I know her thoughts

Even the ones

I'd rather not understand.

Perhaps it is her mind

So in tune with mine

That lets her speak

To me.

I hear her… (so quiet, am I sure it's really there?)

I know about the guy

She used to love

And where she used

To love him (the cafeteria will never look the same)

Know all the things

She wishes

She could forget (it wasn't her fault)

But I can forget

I can't forget them for her

And it saddens me

And burrows me

In pain that isn't mine.

I can feel her pain

It burns me (alive)

And yet I can feel

Her happiness

Her joy. (he makes her happy)

But there is

less of that

now. (don't leave her when she needs you most)

her mind growing dull

and dim

her smile blown

to the breeze (it's not fair)

and her last three words

struggle to make it (so tired… still not fair…)

from her head

to mine

"…why not me?..."

and for the first time?

Silence

And I breathe out.